Surviving and Thriving as a “Boy Mom”

When we had our first baby and were waiting until birth to find out if we had a son or daughter, I really wanted a girl. All the “signs” pointed to a girl: heart rate, Chinese calendar, how I was carrying, and so on.  So to my surprise on the day of delivery when the doctor exclaimed, “It’s a boy!” I didn’t feel one ounce of disappointment!! Lather, Rinse, Repeat…child #2 came 17 months later, we heard another, “It’s a boy!” at delivery. Two brothers close in age! Awesome! Third times a charm, right? Okay, this time we had to find out the gender at the 20 week ultrasound. We saw “it,” and the rest is history!

So here I am, a boy mom, or as my hubby calls it, hashtag boy mom. I only know boy and nothing else. I don’t get to see any of the “girl” movies in the theaters, even with a bribe of all the candy and popcorn that they want. (I finally convinced them to watch Trolls and Moana because they were on Netflix.) My floors are constantly covered in dirt, underwear and Pokemon cards. I cringe when they receive Lego sets for their birthdays. They love them; my feet do not! But I always buy them on clearance at Target. A serious love/hate relationship with Legos. And guess what, I am pretty sure I know every superhero’s real name and what planet they are from.  

The comments are endless when we go out in public. “You have you hands full”, “boys are so busy” and “You going to try for a girl?” I think many people think an equal number of boys and girls is the “perfect” family. As one of my son says, “You get what you get, now don’t throw a fit.” Smart kid! There is no such thing as perfect, but there is such a thing as perfectly yours. My family is perfectly mine. So how do I not only survive a house full of boys but also thrive?

I survive on humor.

The potty jokes do make me laugh every time. I am guilty of not limiting this. Our #1 rule though is no potty talk at the dinner table or out in public. To diffuse the talk out in public, we actually use another language so then most people have no clue what we are saying (unless you’re Vietnamese). Potty talk at the dinner table will get them a time out. Nothing phases me anymore, however. Everything I’ve encountered as a mom is not gross, but just nature.  

Just the the little comments these boys say and what they talk about make me giggle. The other day my son found one of my feminine pads in the house and said, “Mom, you forgot to put on your diaper today.” That comment made my day! Or the one time they were watching football and my middle son says to the oldest, “When we grow up, we’d better play football so we can wear those neat outfits.” Our days are filled with their uniqueness and humor. A lot of great memories to be told again one day. 

I survive on easy-ness.

The number one comment I have received is, “Boys are definitely easier than girls.” While I believe it really depends on the individual child, in some ways, boys can be easier. For instance, getting dressed in the mornings. T-shirt, shorts/pants, shoes and out the door. Wrinkled, not matching, probably from their dirty hamper or doesn’t even fit; they don’t care. That’s it. They are ready to seize the day and only are concerned that they have clothes on to do so. I am kind of looking forward to the teenage years. I’ve been told it will be less drama and less hormones. The food bill will be higher, but it will probably make up for all the makeup, hair care, and clothes I don’t have to buy.

I survive on my new found interests.

I am a newly chosen “baseball” mom. My son has chosen me to be his coach over his dad who has way more experience with baseball/softball than I do. I love being a coach and showing him and the other boys on my son’s team that a mom can coach too and can also throw strikes. We love playing sports as a family. I am really into Star Wars now and can’t wait to take my boys to see the new movie coming into theaters this holiday season. We might dress up for the movie, who knows! I mentioned before I HATE/sometimes love Legos. I love putting them together. I never had Legos growing up. We really enjoy putting them together and love working towards the finished product. Then there is fishing. My boys are avid fishermen. My dad takes the boys almost every weekend. I grew up doing the same thing with my dad, but I love how we can all fish together. I need someone to take the fish off the hook for me and put the worm on. Perfect job for my boys! My boys and I really have a great time with any activity we do together.  

I survive on being me and only me.

I really don’t mind being the only girl in the house. I stand out and feel like the queen of my castle. I’m guessing I’ll never have to share my makeup, clothes and purses. I’ll have personal space in that sense. I’ll always have that stuff that is only mine, separate from the boys in my life. I will have separate interests that keep me unique and will freshen my sense of self. I won’t have to tell or show anyone what it is to be a woman, but I can show my boys what sets women apart in my life’s examples.  

So in finale… I THRIVE being a boy mom.

I thrive on the lessons I am constantly teaching my sons. I get to raise these boys and raise them right. They will know how to treat a woman with my advice and from my husband’s excellent example. I will get to watch them grow into strong and respectful men. Watch their families bloom and blossom. Watch them become fathers and know the kind of love their mom and dad have for them and always will. And see how they love their children; love them with all of their being like how I would sacrifice my being for them.

I cling to all this while I’m breaking up a fight, picking up worms in the house or stepping on those dreaded Legos. The bond between mother and son is so unique. I love being a boy mom, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.