A member of our family was in a terrifying car accident this week. It was nearly fatal but incredibly routine.
At the time of the accident, the details we received from first responders were scarce, but alarming. Waiting for more information was excruciating. Similarly painful was the realization that it could have been me.
Since having our second baby, I’ve found myself in a constant state of distraction. At any given moment, my head is in five places.
Working – distracted. Feeding – distracted. Walking – distracted. Showering – distracted. Eating – distracted. Driving – distracted.
I used to think that it was a strength of mine, the ability to multi-task so much; to efficiently execute many simultaneous projects. And it keeps me satisfied – the challenge of juggling so much at once.
The danger is that I’m always thinking about at least one project while driving. For example, on the way to daycare, I’m thinking about whether I packed everything for the day; and what I need to pack for the next day. I’m wondering if I dressed the kids ok and I’m chastising myself for something – maybe not even thinking about putting sunscreen on them. My thoughts will quickly jump to work: did I remember to tell my boss about the meeting I had last night right before I left? My thoughts just pivot from one to the next.
Work – pivot. Marriage – pivot. Groceries – pivot. Snacks – pivot. Kids – pivot. Daycare – pivot.
I’m not texting or talking on the phone; but I may as well be. All things considered, driving while lost in thought may even be more dangerous than being the phone, or just as dangerous as being drunk or under the influence.
I used to think of driving as my thinking time. It was my time to get into my head and process the things that needed to happen that day or analyze the things that already did happen that day. Trying to manage an office, a home, and a family and marriage, my head is so cluttered.
Moreover, as a mom, driving to and from daycare may very well be my only quiet time in the day. I look forward to the silent peace. It’s my time to get right with myself. It could be the only me-time I get.
Yet, it seems so cruel that life can change in just a split second and so randomly. These days I find myself mindful of all the dangers that stalk my children; I rarely think of the risks that threaten me. But the danger that I face is routine; I face it every day. That’s really scary.
This past week made me realize that I need to #justdrive. I need to be more aware of my surroundings and other drivers, even in perfect conditions. If I need more time to prepare for the day ahead, make a to-do list, or analyze a recent tiff, I need to borrow on other time.
But where do I find the time? I’m already up with the baby at night and then we start our days at 4:30 AM, sometimes earlier.
No, instead of finding more time, I need to slow down. I need to lower my expectations about getting so much done. I need to stop pivoting and make my peace with the messes, including my thoughts. I need to slow my busy, cluttered mind and #justdrive.
2 comments
Yes. We often make driving Mummy’s quiet time and play music that calms the kids and me.
Your girls are adorable, but to keep them most safe their chest clips need to be right at armpit level. And now that your older one is forward facing her straps need to be at or above her shoulders (rear facing they are at or below shoulder level).
Safety first! Thanks for the tips, Leigh!