We all know that it is important to encourage pretend play with our children. Children learn so much from these role play type activities. However, from a parent’s point of view, playing pretend can feel less like play and more like torture.
“Mmmm…delicious,” the woman says to the chef at her table. Except I’m not at a four-star restaurant, I’m at the children’s museum. And the “chef” she speaks to couldn’t be older than 2 years. I watch her as she smiles and nods at her little toddler, moves her hand in a clockwise manner around her stomach to indicate satisfaction for the carefully prepared meal offered by the tiny chef. Why do we do this, I wonder. Is it to help the food digest more properly? Perhaps all-natural wood from the agriculturally sustained crops in the Pacific Northwest stained with organic non-GMO vegetation requires a little support to make its way through our intestines.
“Slurrp. Ahhhh,” she adds for effect to demonstrate she has downed another cup of imaginary coffee.
Aww, poor thing, I think to myself. That mom is putting on such a great performance for her child. But we all know what she is really thinking here.
If I have to fake eat another tomato ice cream soup from this toddler chef, I will lose. my. mind.
I’ve been there. You probably have, too. This pretend play game can be mind-numbing.
Give me a book, I’ll gladly do a dramatic reading. Open up a puzzle; I’ll slap that thing together with you in seconds flat. Color? Yes, please, pass the crayon box.
But a child asks me to pretend play, and I’m David Rose in Schitt’s Creek saying, “uh yeah, no, that’s a hard pass, very uninterested in that option.”
I love you, my sweet child, but I don’t WANT to eat your plastic/felt/wooden/imaginary(the worst) foods. I don’t. Do not make me be the baby. Unless the baby gets to just lay here and sleep and not do anything, then, yes, maybe I will be the baby. Can I just be the mom who is scrolling through her phone right now? I’m really good at that role. You pretend to be the kid that can patiently and QUIETLY entertain herself. Okay?
The truth is, whether I enjoy pretending or not, I do know it is a vital step to my children’s growing development. Play is their work. Actually, I’m kind of jealous. My work never looks that fun.
But still, I think you might agree that no matter how many times we read from the experts the value of imaginary play, we just want to go BLAH BLAH BLAH right back at them. Because BORING.
But maybe I can help. What if we could make this responsibility of helping our little ones grow actually…dare I say…fun?
Often the best way to turn a boring task into something fun is to bring my child’s imaginary play world into the things I already enjoy as an adult.
Here are a few pretend play ideas you might want to try, too, in case you find yourself forced into the tortuous game of imaginative play:
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Supermarket Sweep
That game show we loved as kids is back on our televisions and just in time to help you with your toddler’s imaginary play. This activity is best for the on-the-go child, perhaps the one who will never be caught sitting daintily in a tutu with a circle of teddy bears and sipping water from teacups. For this game, you set up the pretend play food at one end of your play area. You sit on the other end and give directions for particular items they need to retrieve. “Alright, on your mark, get set, get apples, coffee cup, and cheese. Go!” Watch your child race across the room, maybe even set up an obstacle course for added sensory and motor play. They are building cognitive and linguistic skills to remember the items you asked for. They are challenging their body with movement in play. And then when they return, encourage them to create something with what you had them retrieve. Throw in new challenges in the middle of it like “one red apple and two green spoons!” Now you are adding in cognitive skills with colors, size, shape, numbers, etc. But to them, it’s just funny to have an excuse to race around. Watch giggles ensue. It can be contagious for adults too.
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Chopped
This popular cooking game show where chefs are given a basket of very random ingredients and challenged to create a meal can be a fun way to break up the boring steps of pretend play. Your child is already adept at creating very extravagant gourmet meals from nothing in minutes (I could really use some help in this department.) Yet the ability to follow directions and complete steps is a fun challenge for them. Why not walk them through the process of creating a pizza or cupcakes? Language skills are being built through this interactive play. Or perhaps you don’t have any eggs to make pancakes? Maybe go ask the chicken in the barn upstairs if you can have a few (imaginary) eggs for the pancakes. And when they hand you a broccoli kiwi and pepperoni soup, ask them to describe it for you. Maybe see if they have a fun name for this crazy concoction. Asking questions is great skill building for your child, but it can also bring up some very hilarious quotable moments for their baby book (I should get one of those.)
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Yelp Reviews
If you are going to be forced to eat the food, you might as well make yourself laugh in the process. Encourage your child to set up a restaurant and give it a name. Create a menu together. Writing skills and math skills are practiced in the menu creation. Then when you “visit” the restaurant, come up with your own reviews. Share these out loud as your tiny chef likely does not have access to the internet to read these Yelp reviews herself. She may even gather some skills on proper service and food preparation and acceptance of critical reviews. We could all use practice with that.
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Coffee Shop or Café
Let’s say you actually need to get work done. Maybe you need to check your email, finish up a work project (she raises her hand), text with your friend about something important, or nothing at all. Maybe you need to get dinner on the table or clean up the dishes. This is when you open up a coffee shop/café. In the coffee shop, your child is the barista. Shout out your most complicated order and see what he comes up with. Ask him to keep refueling your coffee cup, maybe bake you a scone. But remind him, you are there to get some work done. So could he please try to be quiet for a few minutes and maybe ask the stuffed animals to put their headphones on when watching that Youtube video? Ok, thanks.
Café is actually a little more interactive. Invite him to be your sous chef for the evening. Mixing up a soup? Maybe he can make a loaf of bread to go with it. Stir fry? How about “chopping” up some vegetables. They are interested in what you are doing, but it is ok to show them you have work to do and not feel guilty about that, especially if you are making ways to let them work side by side. This is a great way to model vocation while still showing you care. Plus, those barista skills may pay off one day when they can actually make you a real latte!
I hope it is clear that I don’t expect to make a pretend play lover out of you, even with this list of ideas. There will still be days when you just want them to play ALONE. This is, in fact, an essential skill for our children to learn. But the little ones still want our attention. They will push and pull and nag and bug us until we give in. So why not find a way to have fun. All the while realizing they, we, are developing some fantastic skills. Good job, you!
So, what are you cooking up in the pretend kitchen tonight?
