In about 9 weeks, we’ll be welcoming a second little baby into our family! This pregnancy has been so very different than my first, and not in very good ways. I’ve been sick nearly the entire time, am much bigger than I was with my son, and am crazy exhausted (which I’m sure a certain 2yr old boy has something to do with) It’s also gone much, much faster than my first (again, I blame the 2yr old)! But despite preparing my body and dealing with the physical discomfort, my heart has been even harder to prepare.
While I can hardly believe we get to do this whole new baby/parenting/wonderful thing again, and I am so very excited… I’m totally petrified and have a zillion questions:
How do we prepare a two-year old to share his whole life with a tiny baby?
How will we fit two kids (because we will have KIDS) in one ittybitty room?
How do you nurse a baby while keeping a two-year old safe as he runs around the house?
How do you get two-year old spit-up stains out of really cute outfits?
How will we run errands when it’s already a pain in the rear to do with one child?
What kind of stroller do you get – one to use with a carseat or a double to use with both kids?
When do you eat? Or sleep?? Or shower???
I’m a little nervous about these logistics, girls. And since it’s baby #2, there’s no shower – no room full of friends and family offering advice. So, moms of more than one, let me have ’em – what are your best tips for transitioning to two children?
-Anna
15 comments
You’ll be fine. Tired but fine. Never blame baby for making your tot wait (blame mommy — “honey I can help you in just a minute, mommy’s hands are full” rather than “not now honey, mommy is feeding the baby”). This helps limit resentment. If you can, tell your tot that mommy will always have an arm to hug with and a space next to you to snuggle him when feeding baby – the less tot feels replaced the better, but obviously tot does need to learn some patience 🙂
Use a baby carrier for shopping so tot still gets to monopolize the cart as usual if you can. We didn’t use a double stroller (either ergo carrier and single stroller or single stroller/car seat and tot walks) until baby was big enough to care about looking around (nearly a year old). This all gives tot lots of time to continue with his things and space and routine. Then bam, tot is older and baby is older and they actually interact rather than baby being so fragile and basically a blob that tot must forever be gentle with.
Invest in a few movies you can stand to have on repeat because, let’s face it, there will be times when tot simply needs to be distracted. Good luck. The best part is watching the siblings learn to love each other. Your heart will expand and your tiredness will drag on but it’s the best and hardest (harder than zero to one I think) transition you’ll make!!
Thank you! Love what you said about it being the best and hardest transition to make – I’m thinking I’ll totally agree =)
Btw. Mine are 28 months apart w younger one now 18 mo and we are starting to plan for a third! It all works itself out 🙂 there will be days when nothing goes right just like there were w number one. Always try to find special time for number one and continue that relationship 🙂 happy happy trails! It’s the best and most wild ride 🙂
My kids are 19 mos apart. I remember worrying about all of that. I quickly remembered how much a newborn sleeps….seriously, until 5 mos, they sleep so much more than you and your two year old. You will run errands with ease while you have a carrier and when they outgrow that, it gets harder…all the while your son is learning how big he is and the perks he has with that and it all evens out. Compliment him on how big he is and include him when you change the baby, feed the baby. I had a basket of toys for when i nursed..but on the second, I pumped more than ever on the first. You get a routine, it works. Bring them in the bathroom when you shower and sing to the baby and make sure your son can’t get into anything or have him play with hangers from your closet. These are the hardest days, but I didn’t enjoy them like I should have…try to. Oh, and let the baby fuss/cry, they get over it quick! My second used a nuk prolly for that reason! You can cry if you have to and tell them it’s hard on Momma to do it all and he will become your teammate. YOU will do fine!
Oh, and the two year old doesn’t think the baby rules the house. He will cry at the same time and want you just as much as now, if not more! It’s still ALL about them…if anything, they learn to wait and patience.
Love that, Suzanne. Thanks girl =)
Oh, you are going to do great! What they don’t tell you is that you are much more ready than you realize. I won’t say it’s not hard, or that things didn’t momentarily fall apart the first night we were home, just cry it out and move on.
If you want a good stroller that’s great for two kids and has a carseat option and can be a stroller for one OR two, or can be a single jogger/fast walker (amazing) let me know!
You learn to nurse, walking around – instead of watching TV or sitting in the quiet while nursing, you chat with the big boy. I never got around to it, but someone told me to get a couple really special toys that were only out when you are nursing the baby.
Running errands while you have two is easy while you have the carrier it’s mostly the same, but with less space in the cart. 🙂 Then, when baby gets bigger, you only go to Target because they have the best double carts EVER.
Can’t help you on the shower thing – I’m STILL figuring that out, but you will adapt SO quickly, it’s crazy. You’ll be amazing!
Beth, that stroller sounds like magic. Thanks for the reassurance =)
Oh Anna, you’re going to do amazing…you’re heart is totally cut out for it! I really can’t answer many of your questions as I just tend to do what works right at the moment and everything else seems to fall into place:) as for the stroller…LOVE the city select double…and found it in Craigslist! I’ll be thinking of you!
I was SO in your mindset before #2! You will be great. Here are a few tips that I’ve gotten from other friends and loved to use! Take them or leave them 🙂
How do we prepare a two-year old to share his whole life with a tiny baby?
– Have dad spend special time with the 2-yr-old. You’ll be telling him to wait more than you want, so make a point to sometimes tell the baby “Wait a minute, I’m doing something with your brother”. It’ll make him feel better 🙂
How will we fit two kids (because we will have KIDS) in one ittybitty room?
– We kept the baby in our room in a pack-n-play for the first 5/6 months. Now our girls LOVE being together: one in a crib, one in a toddler bed.
How do you nurse a baby while keeping a two-year old safe as he runs around the house?
– Start a video/picture slideshow on your phone/computer with pictures of your older child. Snuggle together as you watch them and he’ll be so engaged, he’ll forget about the baby nursing along. My older daughter also ‘nursed’ or ‘pumped’ along with me too so she could be with me as much as possible.
How will we run errands when it’s already a pain in the rear to do with one child?
Park next to the cart corral at grocery stores and target. Put the carseat carrier in the front seat and put the big kid in the back.
What kind of stroller do you get – one to use with a carseat or a double to use with both kids?
We got a double running stroller on CraigsList and just rigged a few straps around the carseat carrier to fit it in one of the seats.
When do you eat? Or sleep?? Or shower???
BEST TIP: Every Sunday I would throw 2 bags of frozen chicken breasts into the crockpot(s), add a little water and seasonings and let it cook all afternoon. Then I could use them for quick meals throughout the week: Quesadillas, stir fry, pastas, cold chicken salad, bbq sandwiches, etc. SUCH a life saver for real food. Try to get into a few freezer meal cycles too.
Enjoy it girl! After the first 6 months, two is easier than one. Believe me. They start to play together and you have a chance to make supper without needing to entertain everyone. It is awesome 🙂
You can do this, we can do hard things. (Thank you Glennon Melton). Another piece of advice I got is to give your son a job, when he is helping he will beam with pride. Have him get the diaper wipes or ask him to help choose outfits or whatever comes up in your daily routine. Have him help you in the kitchen. My oldest did not watch TV before my 2nd, so my oldest was FIXED on Thomas the Train and Bob the Builder shows when I let him watch those while I was nursing. Some moms like naps to coincide, but I devoted baby nap time to hanging out and doing special things with my oldest. This helped me not feel bad when I couldn’t meet his every need at another time. And, its good for them to learn some self sufficiency. Lastly, erase expectations and just go with it…whatever happens it will be YOUR story and it will be special.
Love me some Glennon… =) Thanks for your thoughtful words, Karri!
Thank you for posting this! I have a 20 month old daughter and we are deciding right now when to have a second baby. All of these answers are very helpful!:) P.S. I work at Waxing the City in HP it was great to meet all you ladies the other night! I can’t get enough of the blog now! Love it!
I have Baby #2 coming in 6 weeks and my son will be 22 months. I had a lot of the same questions. Thanks for the tips!