The past year has been a wild ride and just like a roller coaster at Valley Fair, last March the safety harness of the pandemic securely locked us in and no matter how much we scream or close our eyes for the scary parts, we are stuck riding it out until the very end.
For me, the scariest part of being homebound is feeling like I’m failing at everything. I saw a quote recently that summed this up perfectly, “You can do anything, but you can’t do everything.” And for the last year, I have been attempting to do everything.
For so many mothers, even pre-pandemic, we were already managing the ups and downs, twists and turns of managing work priorities while maintaining a happy and healthy household, not to mention raising smart and kind kids. But month after month, as the lockdown continued, we were forced to add countless duties to already packed schedules and now that the kids can’t even go outside from fear of their eye sockets freezing, I know I’m not alone when I say, enough is enough, I want off this ride.
I even implemented all of the strategies in an attempt to make it easier on myself, creating schedules and lowering the bar on other, less important tasks. Even with these things in place, nothing about the last year has been easy with the exception of knowing we’re all in this together.
We are coming up on the anniversary of the lockdown, so recently I’ve been spending time reflecting on the past year. They say the greatest growth comes from outside your comfort zone and whether we’ve embraced it or not, that’s where we’ve all been living, day in and day out. Pre-pandemic whenever I felt I was reaching (or past) my breaking point, I would attempt to change my mindset and put a positive spin on the situation. This has proven to be more challenging than ever when quarantine is relentlessly taxing, and trying to remain positive is positively exhausting.
Even though the ride isn’t over, I took a deep breathe and managed to identify a few silver linings. I realized I’ve learned a lot, mostly that my 9 year old self was right, I never wanted to be a teacher. But also how to be grateful in a time filled with adversity and how to stay strong for my kids when I feel like I’m failing on the inside. But also how important it is to show up for myself and the significance of self-care (mustn’t be an empty cup) and lastly that educational screen-time is guilt-free.
The good news is we’ve all survived our worst days and the return of precedented times seem to be getting nearer with each passing day. I appreciate the lessons and the optimist in me believes there will come a day when I look back on this time, dare I say “fondly?” I am certainly not there yet and for the time being I will continuing looking for lessons and ways to grow while throwing my hands into the air embracing the messiness and madness until the ride comes to a complete stop.