No More Perfect Hosts

You know the drill. Your friends are coming over for dinner. After a day of cooking and cleaning and grocery shopping, you are running around the house, getting ready for your dinner guests to arrive. The timer’s beeping, the toys need to be picked-up (again), and you may have overcooked the carrots. You still need to turn on music, light the candles, set the table. Oh, and you TOTALLY forgot an appetizer…honey, can you please make a quick run to the store and grab some chips??

It can be stressful. And not really fun at all. Didn’t you volunteer for this?

Your guests arrive, and all the while, they are loving it. They want your meatloaf recipe. They didn’t even notice the nail holes in the wall, and weren’t disappointed that your appetizer was just chips and salsa. They didn’t see the dirty fingerprints on your windows, for their house has them, just the same.

Entertaining is supposed to be fun, enjoyable even. At the heart of it is gathering around the table with friends and family, sharing a meal together, telling stories. Being with the people we love. When did it become so STRESSFUL?!?

Entertaining is NOT about showing people how great you are. It’s about showing people how much they matter. That they are loved, and that you value them so much that you want to spend time with them by opening up your home to them.

For years, I admit I had anxiety about inviting people into our home. I always wanted to push it off into the future, for when our house would be “finished,” when I would have more time to cook a “perfect” meal, when our walls were no longer blank and when every single room was completely and perfectly decorated.

Well, you know what? That day never came. Sure, our house is mostly done now, and we do actually have pictures hung on most of our walls. But is it perfect? No. Do I have more time to plan and cook and grocery shop? No. There will always be someone with a cuter home, who is a better cook, and has nicer things.

Always.

If a perfect dining experience is what you are after, go to a restaurant. But if a real, authentic, humans-gathering-with-other-humans and sharing their lives together is what you are after, then please, ladies, open your home to your loved ones.

You do not have to be perfect to invite people into your home. Your house does not have to be perfect to host people at your home. Even your culinary skills do NOT have to be outstanding in order for your friends to have a wonderful time around your table.

Remember, it’s NOT about you. It’s about THEM.

If you have hostess-anxiety, I love how Shauna Niequest offers an easy starting place for hosting friends: order a pizza, make a salad. Turn on some music and just have a good time with the people you love.

Try it today. Invite friends for breakfast and pajamas, a neighborhood potluck, a chili cook-off, eating on the deck (when it’s finally warm enough), pizza and wine. Have fun, and don’t stress. No more perfect hosts.