I Don’t Know How You Do It, Mama

I Don't Know How You Do It, Mama | Twin Cities Moms Blog

I know I’m not supposed to play the “mommy martyr.” I know I’m supposed to enjoy the little moments that will be gone all too quickly, to do this job well, and to be thankful for my children.

And I am, believe me. I know just how blessed I am, I really, really do.

But motherhood is so hard.

Sometimes, I think we feel like we can’t say that out loud though. We are afraid people might think it means we don’t like it, that we don’t love our kids, or that it somehow makes us bad mothers. We can’t talk about how hard motherhood can be.

But somedays, I want to. I need to. I want to be able to talk about how hard my day was and share my struggles without someone giving me advice on how to do it better, a new method to look into, or to make sure I am enjoying every single second. I just want to let my hard be hard. I want to know that someone understands how much of myself I gave today. That’s it. And when I’m done sharing, I want them to look me in the eye and say,

Wow, mama, I don’t know how you do it!

Do you ever feel that way? Like you’re sick of hearing what you could be doing better or that you’re not enjoying motherhood enough? Like you have done all of the research, tried every method, enjoyed the little things, and even succeeded, but it’s still hard because you gave so much today?

If so, I got you, girl.

So, do me a favor. For one second, pretend like we’re sitting down on a huge comfy couch together in some brand spankin’ new sweatpants, the pill-free fleece hugging every inch of our tushes as they sink into the couchy goodness. You’re holding a giant steaming cup of coffee or an impressively large glass of vino, you choose.

Ok, you ready? Hear this, friend:

I can’t believe how much effort you put in today. I know from the outside, it may not LOOK like you did a lot, but I know better. These days sure can be long, huh? I don’t know how you do it, mama, I really don’t. You give so much of yourself every single day, and it’s truly impressive. I admire you. You are amazing.

I get you. I hear you. I understand you. I want you to know that.

Sure, there are always a million things we could “do better.” We are mothers, after all, and we will never stop wanting the absolute best for our kids. So, we will keep on striving, keep on improving, keep on giving, and most of all, keep on loving our kiddos. It’s what we do.

Mommin’ ain’t easy. In fact, it just might be one of the hardest jobs there is. So, virtual knucks, because you’re doing it.

(And a round of cookie dough blizzards for all, on me).

Just kidding. What? Did you forget that motherhood isn’t paid?

Marielle is a former business analyst turned stay-at-home mama, accessorizing her top-knots with yesterday's mascara and the occasional cheerio stuck to her butt. She has been married to her husband, Andrew, for 3 years, she is small-talk challenged, and she battles daily with her desire to hide in the closet and eat entire packages of Oreos. If there’s anything Marielle has learned, it’s that motherhood is hard. Sometimes she gets it right. Sometimes she doesn’t. That’s pretty much what she talks about over on her blog, The Resplendent, and on Instagram (@the_resplendent) and Facebook, when she's not just attempting to communicate with other humans who speak actual words.


  1. This is amazing! I have had a particularly rough week. And you said it perfectly, I gave so much of myself. That, to me, is why motherhood is so hard.


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