Chores for Toddlers: No Charts Needed

Our family has chosen to make chores part of our family culture for a few reasons. First, my kids often hover around whatever we’re doing anyway, so rather than resist this I find it helpful to encourage them to participate. Second, I believe that chores help children see their sense of belonging within a family and community because it invites them to contribute. Lastly, it’s an excellent way to teach them responsibility—if we make a mess, we clean it up. If there’s work to be done, we use our gifts and abilities (however small they might be) and offer to help.

There are many ways to involve young children in activities around the home. You don’t need a chart to do this (though you certainly can), and you don’t need to offer rewards. It doesn’t need to feel intense, and you don’t even need to call them chores. Here are a few things I’ve found helpful:

• Assess my own attitude. Do I complain about things that need to get done? Do I procrastinate and put things off until they’re terrible? I find my kids often imbibe my unspoken habits, and the place to start is first with myself.
• Model how I want something done and stay with them while they work. My children are almost two and almost four, and it’s completely ineffective to say “Clean up your toys” or “Put your pajamas away” unless I’ve modeled dozens of times what that means. It’s so much more helpful to say, “I’ll put the blocks in this bucket while you put your dinosaurs in the gray basket.” Then I stay with them the entire time and model how to complete the task. Chores for littles (at least in our home) are about building the framework for taking care of ourselves and our belongings. In time, they can work independently, but for now chores are mostly about working together.
• Slow down. It takes so much longer to do things with a toddler, and there are times I need to go quickly and cannot involve them, and that’s fine. But I find it essential to create unhurried space so they can work with me on something practical.
• Remember the long view. I want my kids to grow up feeling confident in their ability to take care of themselves and their environment, and preparation for this can start in tiny ways when they are little.
• Enjoy their company. Doing ordinary things with my kids opens up a door for relationship. I get a glimpse of what makes them smile, what makes them feel proud of themselves. I’m amazed at the simple, yet profound conversations I’ve had with my three-year old while he helps me make dinner.

Here are 10 chores I’ve sought to work into my children’s lives that are totally doable for toddlers:

1. Putting away toys: Even one-year olds can begin to learn how to put toys away. I’ve found the key to helping toddlers clean up is to only do it once a day, and to make it fun by playing music or setting a timer. I don’t like to help them pick up toys more than once a day because it feels like such a waste of time when they get the same things out throughout the day. Playing a song or setting a timer helps move the process along so that it goes quickly and kids can focus rather than get distracted.
2. Gardening: We moved into a house with raised garden beds and that set me on a path of learning how to garden. My kids love to help. My three-year-old helped me till the soil in the spring and scatter seeds in a line, and my almost two-year old loves watering the vegetables. Even if you just have a pot of basil in the kitchen, kids love to help water and pick a few leaves for dinner.

3. Washing vegetables: When my son was two, this was the chore that allowed me enough time to make dinner. Kids love using a vegetable brush to clean carrots and potatoes in the sink. It’s essentially water play and keeps them occupied for a long time.

4. Baking and cooking: Toddlers can stir, pour, and scoop. They can knead pizza dough, and cut soft foods with a toddler knife. They can start making simple foods like scrambled eggs. You can talk about what things smell like, how food feels, and if it’s hard or easy to stir.

5. Shoveling snow: This is by far my three-year old’s favorite activity. Their shoveling won’t be productive at first, but with a few suggestions (“Henry, do you notice how you can push the snow off the sidewalk so we have a clear path for walking? Yes, just like that. Thank you!”), your child can learn how to actually shovel effectively and they can gain confidence that they are capable of real work.

6. Raking leaves: Get a small rake for them and let them work alongside of you and then jump in the leaves! You can have fun and bag it up together.

7. Putting away clean laundry: My natural inclination is not to let my kids put their laundry away because it almost immediately gets disordered, but my daughter loves to carry stacks of clean clothes to her room and I’ve learned to encourage her rather than stop her. She quickly got the hang of putting her clothes in her drawers and her brother’s clothes in his drawers (they share a dresser). My three-year old likes to help me fold clothes, and, while it’s not very neat, it’s something he enjoys doing with me and we keep working on it.

8. Arranging flowers: I want my children to learn that they can add beauty to our home with their creativity. They can pick leaves, plants, and flowers and set their own creations around the house or give them to a friend. Chores can be about adding beauty as well as restoring order.

9. Setting the table: I keep children’s plates down low so my kids can get their own plates and bowls, and practice placing utensils by the plates.

10. Refilling glasses: This is a classic Montessori activity and I love how it teaches children self-control and helps them look out for the needs of others at the dinner table. Instead of just thinking about their own glass of water, you can help them notice when other people need a refill and ask if they want to help pour. There will probably be spills, but that’s a good opportunity to help them learn how to clean it up.

So tell me, what chores do you encourage your kids to do in your family? It’s surprising how fun it can be when you do it together!