{Find all of the posts in this series HERE}
It’s incredible how much we can allow ourselves to be affected and influenced by our Body Image, but as moms, we can all truly appreciate what it is a Mom Body can do. It can survive sleepless nights, fight through exhaustion to feed and care for children, carry babies, sometimes breastfeed. Sometimes you have nothing left, but find the strength to hold a bottle until those last few gulps are gone.
Moms are amazing, and they come in all shapes and sizes. Sponsored by Oakdale OB/GYN, and in partnership with Gina Zeidler Photography and Sarah Hrudka Photography, we have been working on this photo series to show just that – the differences, the similarities and the strengths that can be found within a Mom. The moms who have shared their stories are both from our team and our readership. We all have a story to tell, we all have strength and we are honored to be able to share these journeys with you. Today is the second of three days of this series and we hope you see a bit of yourself in one or more of these women.
Sarah
I had two babies and two c-sections in less than two years. I have stretch marks, a c-section scar, a soft belly and plenty of extra skin. I want to put those things on the map as something that can be seen as beautiful, rather than disgusting. I would love for other mamas to love their body and for c-section mamas to not be ashamed of their scar. I struggled so hard to have these babies, and now I struggle to love my own body.
There is possibly the obvious: for my husband to see me in a new light. To be able to think his wife is still “his wife,” and can be sexy despite the extra pounds and purple train tracks that circle the edges of my waist.
I would love for this project to remind me of this journey. My miracle babies. That I overcame infertility. That I’m not a size 0 anymore, but that’s okay!
My goal is to show my children that their mother was brave and determined. I would love to show them that their mama went through a lot and changed a lot to have them, and have them see me as beautiful. I want to teach them of all the different body shapes and experiences, no one is better than the other.
The two things I struggled with were 1. being extremely clingy to my son after he arrived. I put date nights and alone time with my husband on the back burner. I wasn’t sure how to split the two without feeling awful or torn in either direction. 2. Guilt. I am infertile mama. My babies are infertility treatment babies. I met some AMAZING women going through the same thing when I was trying to conceive for years. Once my babies came, I felt guilty and at a loss. I felt sad for them, and didn’t know how to connect anymore.
My legs are my favorite asset. I use to dance. I use to love them. Now I have watched them change (of course), but they are strong. They helped me stand when I was 42 weeks pregnant, kept me stable with a big belly. Today, I squat my legs to keep them strong. To allow me to walk and travel, and experience new things with my family.
I’ll tell my daughter that your body changes. But oh, it will do amazing, amazing things. I’ll tell her to take each day with grace, my dear, for your body created life. YOU MADE A HUMAN! Seriously. how cool is that?
Son: Crue – 2 years
Daughter: Lakely – 2 months
Heather
I had such nausea and heartburn throughout my pregnancy, I actually lost weight the first trimester and gained little overall. Shortly after giving birth, I was able to fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans. Within a month or two, I was back to my high school weight. But this was not due to amazing genes or healthy choices – I was wasting away as I struggled to give my new baby all my time, energy, and milk. Now, 4 years later, that weight is all back, and while some may look back at those photos and see a thinner, more appealing body – I can’t help but look at those photos and see how utterly exhausted and empty I was. Sometimes a “mom body” is healthier than the alternative…and yet, even as I know that, it’s hard not to long for just a little of what was lost.
I hope that my daughter feels like I tried my best, and all choices were made in an honest pursuit of her well being. I hope I can be honest with her about the struggles of parenthood so she knows in those “alone” moments that she is doing ok, and will get through it.
I hope she remembers me as creative, strong, and human. I hope that she feels empowered by my examples.
My biggest struggle was absolutely sleep. I was completely unprepared for the exhaustion. It began in the hospital with a long labor, then breastfeeding struggles, followed by a decision to exclusively pump. This lead to timed wakings, and coupled with a baby who would only sleep in arms or a moving stroller, lead to a pretty pooped parent…for 2 1/2 years. That’s how old Phoebe was when she began sleeping through the night! And even now, at 4.5 years…I am not sure I ever really fall 100% to sleep.
I’m proud that my body did what it needed to. It adapted. I treated it poorly, and it still came through for me. There’s a mom metaphor in there somewhere.
I’ll tell my daughter that scientifically, her mom body is amazing. If you want it to be, the change can be temporary. Life is all about deciding your own priorities. She may choose to work on her body, spend time and money on it, and I respect that, especially if it makes her feel good. I chose to spend my time and money instead on spending time with my family. We all get to choose.
Daughter: Phoebe, 4.5 yrs
Jen
I want my daughters to look back at these pictures and see a strong, healthy mama that was confident enough in her body to participate and step outside of her comfort zone.
I want them to know that I loved them with all of my heart and that I am a good mom.
Breastfeeding is no joke! I researched hours upon hours on the latest and greatest baby gear, but completely overlooked the research I should have done on breastfeeding. Cracked nipples, latching issues, low milk supply, and hours spent pumping was a huge adjustment for me. Thankfully with the support of my husband and a great lactation coach, I was able to reach my breastfeeding goal.
Before we started trying for our first daughter, I was overweight, always tired, and not very active. Knowing that was not the example I would want to set for my kids, I decided to get healthy and lost 30 lbs. After each pregnancy I was scared of falling back into my old patterns, but I am proud to say that I have kept up with my active lifestyle and have kept the weight off.
Be proud of your body! A woman’s body is an amazing thing.
Daughters: Avery, 4 and Addison, 2
Morgan
I have struggled with body image my entire life. As a former beauty queen who’s held prestigious and well-known titles, I felt constantly scrutinized. After getting pregnant and seeing the changes, I felt the same pangs of worry that I had once felt when I was competing. I am not only hoping to come to terms with my new body, but come to peace. It’s a miraculous fighter–my body. And it’s time I celebrate it.
I want my children to tell their children not only of my tenacity, but demonstrate it in their daily lives. I pray they will recount the joy which I rasised them every day with. That they recall the love and the absolute pride I have to be their mother.
Having a baby at 20 is not easy, but it is beautiful. I hope they remember the extra time we got to spend together because I had them earlier in life. I want my children to tell their children that I found reasons to celebrate, even when others mourned for me. I was Miss Missouri when I found out I was pregnant. I was entering my junior year of college, involved heavily on campus and in my sorority–but life came to a screeching halt, and I found myself heading in a completely different direction.
The hardest transition was learning to celebrate my new life despite the judgement that came from so many around me. That was the most important lesson I have ever learned. My husband and I are now expecting another baby, and it’s because of my precious first baby – and all the things their little life has taught me – that I can truly be proud of the choices I have made in my life, no matter how unexpected.
My body has gone through the unthinkable. It’s truly a fighter. I look in the mirror some days and just cry, but really at the end of the day, I am in awe. Having been told I would never have children, I am thankful to my body for keeping my babies safe and healthy until my arms could hold them. I look at these deep stretch marks now without disdain, but rather as a reminder of all that I have endured to have one of life’s most miraculous wonders to tuck into bed each night.
Your body is sacred. It is beautiful. Not everyone is able to embrace their body — and I don’t want you to, either. I want you to celebrate it.
Son: Beau, 6.5 months
Baby Bredde: 13 weeks in utero
Emily
I did this shoot because I went from tiny, unscarred, and predominantly happy with my body for the majority of my life (and no effort to be that way – it was just a miraculous metabolism) to not-so-tiny with lots of stretch marks post-kids. Between 2 pregnancies, I gained a total of 120 lb. The weight equivalent of another adult woman. I’m trying to embrace the newness, although it’s been a struggle. A big struggle. Actually having to make an effort to get my body the way I want it is uncharted territory.
I want my children to say that I was strong and always did the best I could for them. I want them to always give people a chance and to keep in mind that there’s good in everyone – sometimes you just have to dig for it. I want them to remember how much we loved cooking together (and especially licking beaters!)
My first pregnancy was tough in all areas. It was unexpected, and I struggled with that mentally. Physically it was tough – I had gestational diabetes and I ballooned. I had to leave an “office job” that I loved. It was tough adjusting to a tiny human relying on me for every single one of their needs. There was the pain and frustration associated with breastfeeding in the beginning….not to mention the horror your body goes through post-birth. I also developed postpartum depression, leading me to barely remember the first 6 months of my son’s life.
My second pregnancy was tough in different ways. We moved twice. I had a toddler to keep track of even though I was so tired and working from home. I was really sick & ended up in the hospital at one point. I had SPD which made sleeping and moving in general almost as painful as giving birth. Even though my body did some whacky stuff while I was pregnant, it still did it. It did what it was supposed to do. It carried my babies, it brought them into the world, it fed them. It hugs and kisses and chases and bakes and carries. It gets up every day (and let’s be honest – a lot every night) to make sure they’re completely taken care of while still attempting to run a household, work a job, and be a good partner.
I’ll tell my future daughter or daughter-in-law to embrace whatever happens. Expect the unexpected. Your body is ever-changing. It may never be what it was before kids, but that doesn’t make it any less beautiful. In fact, you are stronger because of it all.
Sons: Jameson – 3.5, Keegan – 11 months
Airika
I might not always be comfortable in my skin or with all the changes that motherhood brought but I’m realizing my body is capable of incredible things. I want to thank it for keeping up with all my boys’ shenanigans, waking up with them in the middle of the night, and not falling apart at the end of the day.
I want them to say I never ran out of hugs and kisses. I could tickle them with a sideways glance. I was always up for adventure. And that I was prouder of their acts of kindness than their achievements.
We went from one to four kids in 9 months. Four years later, my world view still needs recalibration every morning. I never expected to be a SAHM, its the best job, with awesome benefits but the hours are long and sometimes my underlings are a bit unruly.
I’m proud that my body carried four healthy boys (including three at once). That, and I can eat A LOT of cheese and my stomach doesn’t hurt.
“Mom bodies” are all about function, love it, care for it, and it will amaze you and your children.
4 sons: Fletcher, 8, Cooper, 4, Hudson, 4 Nathan, 4
Kristin & Brianna
Our friendship grew step by step, almost literally. When Briana moved to the Twin Cities after college, our then boyfriends (now husbands, who had been friends since elementary school) encouraged us to run the lakes together. Whether it was in hopes of making double dates easier or that they saw something in the two of us, we’ll never know. But with every mile we ran, we became closer friends. We’ve pushed each other to new personal bests and carried each other through unimaginable heartaches. We couldn’t be more different but are also intrinsically the same. Doing this photo shoot together was a way to celebrate not just how much we’ve experienced together over the years but that it was our mom bodies that really made our friendship possible.
Kristin: In the last 2 ½ years, I’ve gone through 5 IUI cycles, 4 rounds of IVF, 6 procedures requiring general anesthesia, 29 (or more, I lost track) vaginal ultrasounds, 52 acupuncture appointments, 3 miscarriages, 3 D&Cs, and more blood draws and injections than I could ever count. All in an effort to add a second child to our family. But after all of that, all I walked away with were empty arms and a beat up body. But I don’t regret a single shot. Though it couldn’t grow another baby, my body was strong enough to carry me through 9 rounds of treatment. It was healthy enough to give us more chances than even our doctor thought possible. And it reminds me how lucky I am every time I wrap my arms around my 3-year old boy. That’s why I chose to be a part of this photo shoot – because I am so very, very proud to say I have a mom body.
Briana: I wanted to be a part of this shoot because I love the notion of celebrating mom bodies in every shape and size. Having a child is such a beautiful thing no matter how conception/ birth/ breastfeeding (or not) occurs – and is also very challenging. Moms need to remember to own and be proud of what our bodies have done and are capable of.
Kristin: Someday I hope Jonah remembers me as present, strong & joyful. I want him to remember that I laughed. That I loved him fiercely & that I encouraged him to play, experiment & explore with abandon. And that I loved his father with all my might.
Briana: I hope that my children tell my grandchildren that I am a strong woman. I’ve always been proud of the meaning of my name Briana (“strong”) and I’d like to think I embody that physically, mentally, emotionally, and intellectually.
Kristin: For me, the hardest transition wasn’t coming into motherhood. It was accepting that motherhood would look different for me than I had expected. I had always assumed that our family would hold 2 or 3 children. But we’ve finally had to accept that vision wouldn’t come to life. So the hardest transition has been accepting the fact that I will be a mother of one. Thankfully, that one little boy is more spectacular than I could have ever hoped.
Briana: Definitely the hardest transition to motherhood has been achieving balance. I strive to find balance with my faith, my family, and myself. If any of these is out of alignment, life is just that much harder. It is not easy balancing a demanding career with two young boys, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Kristin: I’m most proud of my c-section scar. I didn’t want the surgery; in fact, I fought against it to the point that my doctor had to speak with my husband to get him to reason with me. I wish now that I hadn’t been so hard on myself. Vaginal or c-section, it didn’t matter how my son was put in my arms. The important thing was that he arrived healthy and strong. And I’ll always have the scar to remind me of how strong I was that day & that my body was strong enough to grow another life.
Brianna: I am especially proud of getting back into shape quickly after having my second child in order to have energy (most of the time!). Taking time for myself for fitness also gives me such mental clarity that I wouldn’t have otherwise.
Kristin: Someday I’ll try to explain to my nieces or daughter-in-law that no matter how she fights it and no matter how much she works out or eats right, her body is going to change. It may bear scars, moles or stretch marks, and likely even some cellulite. But if she can look at those details as physical reminders of moments in her life – whether they’re from a pregnancy, accident or even fun summer days spent playing in the sun – instead of imperfections, she’ll be happier and stronger for it.
Brianna: I will tell my future daughter-in-law(s) to be grateful! Having a “mom body” means she has been blessed enough to conceive and blessed enough to have brought a child into the world.
Kristin – 1 child: Jonah, 3; 3 miscarriages
Briana – 2 children: Kelby, 5; Fisher, 6 months
