Keeping Nursing Real

If any of you know me well or follow my personal blog, you probably see that I am a huge believer in moderation.  Of balance and wellness without depriving myself.  Each of us are so different, but for me, if I am going to be successful with something, I need to allow room for comfort without strict, non-budgeable boundaries.  Has this gotten me into trouble in the past?  For sure.  Have I learned how to manage it better as an adult?  Absolutely.  When something is shoved down my throat or, on the flip side, forbidden, I just don’t thrive.  It’s been called rebellious.  Maybe even lazy.  But it’s just not how I am motivated.

This is true for most things in my life.  With exercise.  With eating.  With parenting/social/work life balance.  It makes a healthful lifestyle so much more manageable for me.  I eat healthy and I focus on nutrition.  But I do not deprive myself if I want a treat or a taste of something that isn’t so good for me.  If I were to deprive myself, I’d likely be in the front row on a dieting roller coaster-up and down with no consistency.  I’d get frustrated with the restrictions and unrealistic limits and give up.  Instead, I choose nourishing things to keep in my home and serve at my family’s table, and if something not-so-nutritious presents itself and I really want to indulge, I do, in moderation.  It’s balance for me.  And my breastfeeding experience was no different.

Breastmilk.  We know the benefits of it for our children and it’s becoming more socially accepted than ever.  It also comes with a hefty pressure from society…paired with a powerful pressure we put on ourselves, as mothers.  It can be so tough at times, right?  Rewarding, intimate, precious.  But tough.

I have two kids ages 3.5 and 1.5.  I nursed/pumped for over one year for each of them.  Not enough for some people…too long for others…but it was just right for my children and me.  Nursing can be challenging for a multitude of reasons; it’s definitely a commitment.  I have had some people ask me how did you make it for a year?  My answer?  I made it suitable for my lifestyle and I didn’t pressure myself.  Always and ever.  Was my way the best way to go for all people?  Absolutely not.  But if you are anything like me, and need balance without strict limitations to thrive, you may see where I am coming from.  With that being said, here are a few ways I was able to Keep Nursing Real, for myself:

I had no timeframe or endpoint in mind

Oh gosh the articles, you guys.  During my first pregnancy, I read so much about the benefits of breastmilk and nursing.  The foods to eat.  The perfect latch.  How long to nurse to ensure the most benefits for your kids.  It completely overwhelmed me.  So in typical, me-fashion, I stopped reading.  It was too much and I felt like if I knew I HAD to nurse for two years I would fail miserably.  Instead, I decided to take it as it came.  I told myself that anything I can give my baby is so much better than nothing.  Turns out, that pressure I took off of myself was the best thing I could have done.  Instead of HAVING to do it and treating it like a job, it simply became a part of my lifestyle.  I was proud of myself for making it 1 month, 3 months, 8 months and I wanted to keep going.  Had I set a goal/endpoint, it would have definitely felt like work for me to reach that final destination.  I would have been counting down the days until the end instead of tallying up the days of success I’d had.  Total perspective.

I introduced the bottle early to allow freedom for myself

This simply allowed me not to feel so incredibly strapped down.  If I was the only person in the universe that could feed my child I would have felt so suffocated.  I was most definitely the one doing the majority of the feeding..at least 99.9% of the time.  But I needed to know and feel like I had that .1% option to have help if I needed it.  That feeling in itself was freedom for me.  I could run to Target if I needed to without worrying (and maybe stop for a coffee instead of rushing back home to get that feeding in-score!) Allowing my husband to help out with the feeding and bond with our babies were huge bonuses, too.  This was the epitome of balance for me.  This freedom brought happiness to both myself and my family…because, as my mother would say, “If mama aint happy, ain’t nobody happy.” 😉

I didn’t change my diet

Now, I eat fairly clean to begin with.  But do I have dairy?  Yes.  Spicy food?  I must.  Coffee?  Um, I’ll pretend like I didn’t just ask myself that.  These things make me happy.  They keep me going and even, at times, make anything else thats going on more bearable.  Had I deprived myself of these things while nursing I definitely would have wound up frustrated.  I would have felt limited and that nursing my children was a chore.

I never woke up in the middle of the night to pump

If I had, I would have woken up in the morning simply miserable. Less patient with my children. Exhausted and stressed. Which all equals pure awful to me. And to layer it on, this exhaustion and stress would have greatly caused a dip in my supply. Not worth it for me.

I didn’t treat my breastmilk like “liquid gold”

I have to be honest here.  There’s a hype out there.  I know, right now as I type this, that I’m going to get pushback from some of you.  Let me just say this:  I THINK BREASTMILK IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING.  I do.  I feel honored as a woman to be able to provide it for my children and I am astounded at all of the health benefits it provides us all.  It’s magical…truly.  Now I hate to break it to you, but I just think it can be over-done.  I don’t believe in stressing ourselves out to no end in an effort to preserve or produce breastmilk.  If I spilled some, no biggie.  If I had to pump and dump?  That’s okay.  If I wasn’t producing as much as I used to I found ways to supplement through food with my children instead of punishing myself through hours of pumping or downing huge amounts of supplements.  Part of so many of our issues with being successful with nursing is this stigma that is out there about breasmilk being the end all be all.  Yes, moms, let’s embrace it, but let’s not drive ourselves kookoo doing it.  I just function better without the stress and I could absolutely see it in my milk production, too.  The lower stress I had, the more I produced.  It was truly amazing.

If I needed to supplement, I always knew it was an option

This one was huge for me.  Possibly the biggest of all.  Did I supplement with formula much throughout those years?  Hardly.  But again, this goes back to feeling limited vs. limitless.  It’s just how I roll.  I knew I had the choice to supplement, therefore I never felt strapped down or overwhelmed.  And a few times, formula literally made my life easier.  My husband and I vacationed and I pumped the entire trip to maintain my supply.  But guess what?  We also drank wine most of that trip and I threw out quite a bit of my breastmilk instead of bringing it home with us.  Enter loud, bug-eyed gasps.  Did I have to supplement with formula a few times when we got back from that trip?  You bet.  But I didn’t care one bit.  I wouldn’t have deprived myself of that time with my husband in a million years.  And my child actually turned out okay because of it.  CAN YOU BELIVE IT? 😉

I truly don’t believe nursing has to be a high stress experience.  My hope is that we can all just cut ourselves some slack throughout our nursing journey and realize that we are all doing the best that we are able.  What are some ways you were able to keep nursing real for yourself?