Toddlers have a way of keeping us on our toes. They’re fiercely independent, unexpectedly hilarious and at times incredibly insightful. Throw in some irrationality, notable doggedness and a little bit of sass, and you have the formula for a typical toddler.
These tots see life differently. They consider Cheetos a perfectly acceptable source of sustenance and wear rain boots when it’s sunny. They can remember the tiniest details but forget to put shoes on in the winter. Not surprisingly, toddlers have their own interpretation of what they see and hear. They especially have a unique take on the aphorisms adults use in everyday life and conversation.
Philosophies of Life Interpreted by a Toddler
If we were to ask a toddler about their philosophies of life, here is what I imagine they’d say:
Variety is the spice of life. If you define variety as eating grilled cheese every day for lunch, then yes, it is indeed the spice of life. You live your best life by keeping everything exactly the same from day to day. Who’s up for watching Encanto for the 187th time?
Children should be seen AND heard. Make your presence known by creating as much noise as possible. Ramp up the volume when mom is talking on the phone. If she is looking intently at the computer, interrupt her with a request or to share a story. Be sure to speak loudly since she’s obviously distracted.
Don’t cry over spilled milk. Don’t get upset when meals get a bit messy. Regardless of what mom may say, spilling food and drinks during meals is unavoidable. But eating vegetables, imperfectly shaped food or snacks cut incorrectly can and should be avoided. If these atrocities happen, you are justified in letting the tears flow.
Beggars can indeed be choosers. Requests are best received when made in a high-pitched, singsong voice. If your request is denied, simply ask again until mom agrees. When she concedes, it is perfectly reasonable to reject her offer and demand an option outside of the choices presented.
Slow and steady wins the race. The slower you can move, the better. This is especially true when mom is in a rush. Embrace opportunities to daydream in the middle of a task. Take your time and make sure everything is just right when you eat, pick up toys or put on your jacket.
The early bird gets the worm. It’s never too early to start the day. Ideally, you should wake up before the sun rises. There is a lot of playing to do and not a minute should be wasted. If mom is still sleeping, rouse her by yelling, jumping into her bed or silently staring at her as she sleeps.
All is fair during love and tantrums. Don’t be afraid to express yourself, especially if mom has wronged you. Use your voice, stomp your feet and feel free to flail your limbs. When your mom asks you what’s wrong, an illogical response is best since it keeps her on her toes.
There’s no denying that toddler logic can drive us to exasperation. But it has its upsides as well. This logic is what compels our toddlers to proclaim we have lovely hair or we’re the funniest moms ever. When our toddlers are all grown up, these sweet moments – along with the time they refused to wear anything but pajamas for a week – are the ones we’ll remember.