When There Are Days Like These

Imagine this kind of day:

When you wake up 45 minutes late… (Seriously, why am I always so tired?)

When you decide that you will, in fact, take a shower before heading out to work because that is the professional thing to do.  But doing this means that you will have to leave with wet hair, knowing full well that it will freeze immediately as you exit the warmth of your home… (Awesome!)

When you get down to the kitchen and realize you have no coffee, no breakfast, nothing.  Lovely a bare refrigerator again… (Great, when will I get to the store?)

When you realize that you forgot there is a snow emergency starting on your street and your car is illegally parked… (Wow why can’t I get my stuff (insert favorite swear word(s)) together!)

When you finally get your kids out the door and on the way to school only to discover that they are in no way going to eat what is available on the hot lunch menu.  Your blood, already boiling, erupts in the form of yelling at your child.  “You will eat!  If you can’t behave at the lunch table you will get in trouble again with your teachers!”  And now you look in your rear mirror and the silent child in the back seat sits with a quivering lip and a stream of tears rolling down those precious cheeks.  He didn’t mean to cause an argument.  He thought that he was just simply communicating his likes and dislikes.  Why is mom responding like a crazy person?!

Oh great.  I’ve messed up and now we are pulling into to school.  It’s going to be almost 8 hours before I see him again.  I need to fix it.  I feel awful.

What do you do when you mess up as a mom?  Not in a big way kind of mess up, but in the little ways that get you at the core of your heart?  You did what every parent has likely done – you have taken your stress, your tiredness, or whatever your issue is, out on them.

The above is a brief snapshot of a very real day of mine not so long ago.  I arrived at my desk late and disheveled.  I was sad.  I felt guilty.  I was beating myself up.  And the smart, logical side of my brain was not speaking up to remind me that my son had probably long already forgotten about this argument and was likely enjoying recess with his friends.  He was probably no longer sad or upset.  But I still was reeling with what I should have done differently throughout that morning.

You want to know what I do when I mess up in the little ways?  I always apologize.  No matter how much time has elapsed.  I know that all the behavioral scientists out there will likely say that my child has moved on and does not remember, but I do it anyway.  In this house, we apologize and offer forgiveness.  We are even supposed to forgive ourselves.

So on this crazy day, I worked on forgiving myself and decided to add a little something extra for my preschooler.  I hit the “easy button.”  I ordered up some Jimmy John’s to be delivered to school for my kids to have for lunch.  Crazy?  I think not.  “Cool” was the word that I heard later at pick-up.  So the next time you are just having one of those days, remember to give yourself a break, hit the easy button when you can, and allow yourself to forgive and be forgiven.