Choosing to Split: Separating Twins in the Classroom

My 5 year-old twin boys, Alex and Ben, will be off to Kindergarten this fall, and like so many transitions in our life, I can’t believe how fast this one has arrived. The popular question I’ve been asked all summer is about our plan for the boys’ classroom placement – will we separate them or keep them in the same class.

Did you know that we parents in Minnesota are fortunate to have the choice when it comes to the education of our multiples? In 2005, Minnesota was actually the first state to pass legislation that allows the parent to have the primary voice in the classroom placement of their multiples. The good news for parents is that our input is being respected and valued no matter what we choose for our children. I know that for me, our family will work with our teachers and the school to address this issue with each upcoming school year, but let me share a little more about how we arrived at the decision to separate our boys this fall.

Unlike most of my parenting decisions, my husband and I were able to quickly and firmly decide that we were going to put our kids in separate classes. We had a preview of this transition last year, when we had the opportunity to split them up in preschool, and it went amazingly well. The kids still had time to see each other at recess and were a short trip down the hallway from each other, if a quick hello was ever necessary. While we have always had pretty confident and outgoing kids, I really enjoyed watching them make their own friends. So, I was not concerned for them socially when contemplating the decision to continue this separation for kindergarten.

Academically, I would say that I have two totally different kids. One struggled to keep his body under control during circle time and needed lots of reminders during preschool. He felt challenged to learn his letters and would easily give up when things did not come as quickly to him as his brother. My other child, who was stronger in most of these areas, would often answer for his brother or would not give him the time to answer. While this disparity in their current abilities and interests did not lead to major issues, I could see my son’s frustration increase that he wasn’t learning as quickly as his brother. As parents, Chris and I strive to instill a confident mindset in our kids, and while competition can be good for this, I wanted them to grow at their own pace and learn separate from each other. In my opinion, emotional and academic confidence will be best fostered in an independent environment.

School conferences and updates from the teachers about the daily classroom activities and antics further supported my belief that we should separate. My line to people about our family is always, “you will hear us before you see us.” My boys have a tremendous amount of energy, and while this is a good thing in most instances, it needs to be appropriately funneled in a school environment. I did not want the brotherly love (aka, wrestling) to be a disruption for the classroom. At this young age, my kids had a difficult time remembering that there is a time for play and a time to learn. Keeping them apart during the school day reduced distractions and enhanced their learning environment.

Finally, for me, one of the very cool things about having kids in separate classrooms is that it allowed us the opportunity to get to know all of the kids and parents in the entire class much more quickly. Knowing a little bit about each of the other families in the class helped create a sense of community. And, I’m feeling much better about sending our kids off this fall since so many of these families will be moving on with us to kindergarten.

I find it hard for us parents to not compare our twins, and separating their classrooms has helped me reduce this temptation. There are many good reasons in favor of each choice, and at the end of the day, no one knows their children like his/her own parents.

So, I’m curious, what helped you make the decision for your multiples’ classroom placement?