Working Mom Shame

{Photo Credit: Chelsie Lopez}

I was at a conference recently where we were round-tabling and asking one another what we need from each other.

… a caterer, a virtual assistant, social media strategist, business partner, investors, etc. And then someone spoke and said, “I need a mom friend.”

As she went on to tell her story of being shamed as a working mom, I remember looking at her, got big eyes and just took a deep breath. 

I honestly could hardly believe what I was hearing. 

A story about something as simple as being kicked off a mom text thread because she wasn’t responding quickly enough. When all she wants and is craving in life right now is a fellow mom friend. 

While I said nothing and did nothing, my mind was turning. And then other fellow working moms jumped in with their own personal stories of being in situations where they have felt the same way. 

While these conversations were going on, I started circling back into my mind to different situations I’d been in where I felt this exact same way. 

… being told how many memories you’re missing out on with your kids because you’re working.
… your kids only do their first things once and you missed it. 
… being told you can’t be in a certain evening group if you miss more than three times.

To be honest, I’ve never answered these questions and given one comment to these statements when they’ve been asked or told to me and I usually just brush them off.

Because I know my answer. I encourage you, before you ask a fellow working mom this question maybe try to answer it first. They may have to work to make ends meet, they might be wanting to create something bigger, this might be their creative outlet, they may just simply know that they will be a much better mom and wife if they’re working and have some time away, and hey, maybe while at work, they’re not allowed to be on their phones or are dealing with much larger issues that day. 

Months later, this conversation still pops into my mind. Because I continue to see it and hear it. And now the second I hear it start, I shut it down and say anything that I can to make a positive out of a negative conversation. Because as moms, I know we can all do better. 

Life is hard.

Regardless of being a working mom or not, we’re all learning to navigate life one day at a time. Each day is a new day for all of us, and we’re all just simply trying to figure it out.

As moms, we’re constantly juggling all the things, and from a mom to a mom, we need to strive to give a little more grace, love, acceptance and forgiveness to our fellow moms out there. 

So can we all just promise to do a little better? 

Lately, I’ve even been intentionally making a conscious effort for every mom I see in any store to simply get eye contact and smile. Because that’s sometimes all we all ever need.