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Twin Cities Mom Collective

Why Date Night is Even More Important After Kids

Shot of a young couple sharing a romantic moment : Why Date Night is Important

I think back to the days when going on a date was as simple as picking up the phone and making a reservation. These days, planning a night out with my husband means weeks of arranging schedules, booking sitters, and hoping no one gets sick or has a last-minute work development. As a parent, it is so easy to get consumed with work responsibilities, caring for the kids, maintaining a household, school, etc. Most of us are swallowed up in the routine and the day-to-day survival of parenthood. As parents, we tend to invest all our time into the kids. So many times our marriages are placed on the backburner. The tragedy comes to light for many couples when they realize all they have in common is the kids.

If you are like most couples, your relationship with your spouse started with a first date. You enjoyed their company so much that you went on a second date and then a third and fourth. It was on a date that you may have held hands for the first time, and maybe you also had your first kiss. As time progressed, you probably had the big conversations…on a date. You may have also gotten engaged on a special date night. The connections initiated in those early date nights were priceless and made you fall in love with each other in the first place. It is foolish to think that the thing that brought you together is no longer important.

A date night, by definition, is an opportunity to leave your ordinary daily experiences. You dress differently; you go to a place that is outside of your normal routine. Let’s be honest for a second moms, those cute little kids are the biggest blessings and greatest gifts – but they are wild, and they suck the life out of us! I will take any opportunity to breathe deep, have uninterrupted conversations, and a peaceful (HOT) dinner! So, let’s get rid of the excuses and make this happen! Don’t talk about schedules, kids, conflicts – dating is about getting to know each other – there’s no one more worthy than the one you loved before having kids. I could make a long list of all the benefits of spending one-on-one time with your husbands, but I want to mention just two below.

1.Date Night builds attachment. When you experience your spouse’s commitment to spending time and building communication, there is a sense of stability and safety in the relationship.

2. Kids get to see a healthy relationship. Let’s be honest, culture has raised a generation of human beings that think the world revolves around them – ahem, millennials. We need to teach our kids that everything is not about them. Mommy and Daddy came first – if we are not good, the family unit is not good – and therefore, the kids are not good. Kids need to have a loving, affectionate marriage with the right priorities modeled for them.


Friends, plan a date night! No need to always go fancy if fancy doesn’t fit your budget! A simple walk around the nearest lake with a hot drink in hand will do more for your marriage than you think! Build the anticipation early in the day – If it’s a work day, send a text that you’re looking forward to date night (romantic emoji and all). On weekends, don’t wait until the sitter has arrived to connect with your spouse. A can’t-wait-for-tonight wink — even over a sink full of dishes — can go a long way!

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