You try to understand why:
Uncle Paul shaves his head, probably because he doesn’t like his hair.
(Actually angel, he’s bald, but you’re so sweet.)
Do you just want to cut your hair shorter, like Mommy and Mama both have short-ish hair?
No, short like my baby brother’s. I’ll just shave it, ok?
Really? You want to shave your head?
Yes. With a shaver.
——
Whatever her reasons, she’s been asking to shave her head for over a month now. At first I was totally on board. It’s only hair after all. I think my initial reaction was the “be your true self and don’t let society dictate how you should look” feminist in me. Then I flipped to the “it’s my responsibility to guide her when she may not be able to see all the consequences of her actions” (still a feminist) mom in me.
It is my hope that we’re raising a confident daughter willing to blaze her own trail if that’s what makes her happy. But I also want to raise a daughter with enough self-awareness that she can see her decisions, and their possible results, from many vantage points.
Since she’s not even three yet, this is where I have to step in as her parent. I have to help her see those potential consequences that she cannot. Plus, even when she herself picked out the color of her new booster seat, when we unpacked it she was wholly upset and wanted a different color immediately. Which is to say, she doesn’t always know what she wants from one minute to the next!
My job as her parent is to show her the angles, try to explain what may be too hard to fully understand, and ultimately to let her make her own decision.
For now, she decided to cut her hair shorter. I still kinda want to let her shave it though.
3 comments
I think I would feel the same and would have chosen the same path (short cut then a shave if she still wants to do it). My daughter is 7 1/2 and I wish I would have cultivated a stronger spirit of taking those kinds of risks earlier. Already in 2nd grade it feels much harder to encourage her to look beyond one mold of beauty.
I think the shorter cut is a great way to start the process! and depending on how often you want to take her in for hair cuts, maybe you go with a pixie cut for her too (it seems that’s what you have, and it looks great in your photo!) And if she’s still on the shaved process, the see after she’s had the pixie for a while? I think this is also an opportunity to teach that what you want doesn’t necessarily happen immediately. But if she’s still asking for a shaved head in July? Go for it. it’s hot, it will probably feel good!
Whatevs, I think she would totally rock a faux hawk… Just sayin’ xoxo