October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. It’s our honor today to share just a few stories of women who have walked this journey. It is our deepest hope that by sharing these stories, other mothers will know they are not alone in their own experiences of loss. We see you and we stand with you today and always.
My husband Tony and I got married in September of 2013, and by July 2014 we were delighted to find out we were pregnant! For our one year anniversary we rented a cabin up North, spent the weekend boating, fishing, biking, relaxing and enjoying each other’s company. It was a perfect weekend, until the drive home. I began experiencing extreme cramping and when we stopped at a gas station I was shocked and horrified to see the amount of blood I was losing. We immediately rushed to the nearest hospital, I was crying so hysterically that Tony had to explain everything to the intake nurse, and call my mom. It was later that evening in the hospital that we found out we lost our little baby.
We were both devastated. It took us a long time to get over our loss, and when we were finally ready to start trying again we were hit with the hurdle of infertility. It took us over 2 years and several rounds of fertility treatments for us to finally get pregnant again, but since then we have been blessed with three amazing children and are so grateful for our little miracles everyday.
Emmy | St. Michael, MN
Trista
Some say, God will come to you in your darkest hour. That statement was true for me the night I lost my daughter Audrina. I woke up in my hospital room at 2am to hear a song playing. The song felt comforting, almost angelic as if it came straight from God. I felt mesmerized by words to a hymn that I had never heard before. Hours later, I suffered a uterine rupture that nearly took my life. The same song played that very moment I lost her. The next morning, I watched the movie Heaven is Real. I had wanted to watch that movie because I had remembered the story of Colton Burpo’s near death experience and meeting his sister in heaven. I put the movie in and tears came pouring out of my eyes. There was that song, “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.” It played at least five times throughout the entire movie. He came to me in a song, and the song was a message: to reassure me that Audrina is safe in heaven and she’s waiting for me. This song gave me the strength to hold my daughter in my arms and to be grateful for her eternal life in heaven.
Our lives changes forever on March 20th, 2018. My first ultrasound showed we were pregnant with spontaneous triplets. However the first words from the doctor were “I’m sorry. There are no heartbeats.”
The babies had died at 13/14 weeks. I opted for a D&E as I felt an induction would have destroyed me mentally. I had complications resulting in another surgery followed by a blood transfusion. We had so many questions about why us why our babies. We never found out what happened, only that multiples are high risk.
We named them Esme, Morgan, and Sam.
Rebecca | Ramsey, MN
Haley | New Brighton
I have been pregnant six times and have three living children. I miscarried three times, all in the first trimester, twice after giving birth to my second son. Each loss was so painful, physically and emotionally. I tried to talk myself out of grieving because how could I be so heartbroken over losing something that was never real to anyone else. I’ve never been afraid to tell my story to anyone who will listen. My pain and my experience can help someone else know that they’re not alone.
This weeks marks Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day, on October 15th, and October as a month is set aside to bring awareness as well. 25% of pregnancies do not go full-term. We feel the loss of our babies, whether it’s marked on the calendar or not, but often it can feel as if you’re the only one remembering.
