A new school year is like a new calendar year. An opportunity for a return to routine after a summer of carefree fun. A time to reset. But the school year also means a season of busy. And busy ain’t my thing.
I’m not someone who wants to wear the badge of busy. My children are too young to have their activities dictate our schedule. We commit to one or two activities at a time because that’s enough. I don’t want every minute of every day planned out. I want free time. Time to catch up and pursue my passions. Time to enjoy my newborn, listen to a podcast, or just take a shower.
{Photo by Kelley Conley Reiter Photography}
As the mom of three young girls, the youngest of which was born in July, I was so eager for the start of the school year. My oldest is now in kindergarten and the three-year-old started preschool. I longed for a solid chunk of time each day where it is just my baby and me. But what did I do with this new-found freedom? I made appointments, scheduled coffee meetings, coordinated lunches and filled every last minute. Kindergarten means a whole new level of involvement, from the PTO to being a room parent and everything in between. There is always someone to meet with or someone asking for help.
Instead of feeling a bit more at ease, I have literally been running from one thing to the next. My newborn is always napping in her car seat so we drive from one spot to the next. I come home at night and feel overwhelmed. There are dishes and laundry that need to be done, toys to pick up and despite a constant feeling of busy-ness, I feel no sense of accomplishment. I can recall a day of hurrying from one thing to next, trying to be the parent who does it all, both personally and professionally, but at the end of the day, it seems little got done. And yes, I know that healthy children who are fed, clothed and happy is enough.
After just two weeks of school, I’m attempting to reign it in. I’m focusing on managing my business more efficiently and engaging others to support me. I’m planning to not plan. After completing graduate school, I made a very intentional decision to only commit to one activity each week, whether a professional event, happy hour with friends or other social engagement. I didn’t want to immediately fill my time because I was in the habit of attending class and doing homework. I wanted to truly enjoy the feeling of being done and having accomplished something significant so I could appreciate the additional free time.
I’m taking a lesson from my younger self and setting aside time for me. Time to get back into the routine of exercise after having a baby, something that is good for me both physically and mentally. Time to get caught up on tasks around the house and tackle work I can do from home. And time to work on me. It’s important that we all take a step back sometimes to remember that busy isn’t a badge we need to wear. Busy is a choice.
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Amanda Wagner is the mom of three young girls, a wine bar owner, and writer of all the things. When she isn’t carting around small children or providing excellent customer service to wine bar patrons, she loves to read non-fiction, listen to podcasts, hit the gym and wind down with a glass of wine.
