I recently finished Michelle Obama’s most recent book Becoming. In honor of Women’s History Month, I felt it fitting that this book has inspired me as a mom, as a woman, and as a working professional. I felt connected to her as she shared her struggles, successes, and the decisions she made as a mother who also wanted a career. The pressure from others and the guilt you feel as a mom when work gets in the way can be stressful. I wonder, at times, am I doing what I need to be doing? Is it worth it to get to that next level of my career if I have to miss something at home with the kids?
Similar to Michelle, I figure it out in the end, but not after trial and error in my decisions and actions. As my kids get older, it gets harder to manage career needs like traveling to see a client for a meeting and making it home in time for school events or being able to volunteer for the holiday party at school. This year, especially, felt like I was failing at my organization skills. I was able to coordinate schedules a lot easier in previous years.
As I grew in my career and the kids got older with more activities and school functions to attend, it was getting harder to organize that balance to make sure I am doing my job and being in the audience for my kids. I began to wonder how other moms did it.
How do you find that work/life balance? I’ve learned, and Michelle’s book reminded me, that no one has it easy. We, as women, make hard decisions every day when it comes to our family. Many make a decision to become a stay at home mom to be able to focus and be with their kids. As amazing as that decision sounds, it was not a decision for me. I couldn’t imagine myself not being a working mom. I have to remember that decision is okay too.
The mom guilt won’t ever go away and I know I have to accept that. I can’t let the words of others make me feel less than a mom either.
Women like Michelle Obama make it work. You see them in the public eye doing what they want to be doing to support their family. And you look at their children and see that they are a product of loving and present parents.
{Photo Credit: Whims and Joy Photography}
Working women make it work. I make it work. Something that also resonated with me was Michelle’s decision to change career paths. She was stressed out about not being with her children of long hours. Finding a flexible position and employer is key.
I am lucky enough in my career to be able to have a flexible position. Don’t get it twisted, I am a hard worker and I put long hours into my job. But I am learning, with the support of my leadership, what it means to have that work/life balance. I am encouraged to truly take time off, when I am on vacation or after work hours, to be with my family.
When I log off from work, I am done for the day. The hours I have with the family are focused on getting homework done during the weekdays. The weekends have basketball or football games, and plenty of activities. I make a conscious effort to not check my work email on my phone after hours while with my kids.
The kids are old enough to understand what “mommy is working” means. Miles has recently started asking how many minutes before I am done with work. They know, especially with all the snow days this year, when to stay quiet when mommy is working at home and needs to be on a call.
I hope what they also see is my work ethic and how important it is, as they grow up and figure out what their career path will be.
Being a working mom is worth it. I am proud of what I do. I am proud of my contribution to my professional field. As stressful and overwhelming juggling a career and a family can be, in the end, it’s a rewarding experience. Seeing where I started professionally and personally, as a proud college graduate to now, is gratifying. I have grown, I have learned, and I have found my place.
If anything, Michelle Obama has reminded me that through the ups and downs, what matters the most is the happiness and joy that your path has given you. Make the choice that you feel is right for you and never regret it.
