Small Kids, Small Problems?

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That saying, small kids, small problems.  Has anyone ever said it to you?  Wait, I mean, has anyone ever said it to you when you were in the midst of small-childrenhood? I’ve heard it.  Far too many times.  And I like to think I am not a complainer.  I don’t pour my problems at people.  I tend to be a half-full girl.  But yet,  I hear this comment more than you would believe.  I hear it when folks are talking about their own child’s problems and then they say “just you wait, small kids, small problems.”

I’ve got you, people with older children who, in fact, may quite possibly have “larger” problems than I.  But I would prefer you not size up my problems and refer to them as no big deal because, to me, some days they are a big deal.  Listen, I get it.  My kid falling off a jungle gym, throwing tantrums, or any of the other toddler-isms we endure on a daily basis may not be a big deal to you.  And really, in the grand scheme of things they may not affect my child’s future or long-term well being.  But this is where I am in my life.  And these are MY problems.  Let me judge the significance.  Let me feel like my battles are important, too, even if my children are small.  Please.  If you are someone who has given this comment to people in the past, please do not say it again.  Ever.  It’s hurtful to receive it.  And unnecessary.

Friends, if you are one of those people who have given that comment to a person with small children I feel safe assuming you have no idea the impact, that it can be extremely offensive.  So I sincerely ask you to take a step back.  Think about what the situation was.  Or, in fact, don’t.  Don’t think about the situation at all.  Just think of that fact that problems are all relative.  If you have older children and you believe your problems are bigger, I am very sorry for you.  I pray for you, that your worries will rest soon.  But please, please do not judge another human beings’ problems with regard to the significance based on the size or age of a child.  My heart handles things much differently than your heart.  The things I lose sleep over are likely not the same things you do.  And I’m willing to bet you have no idea what my life looks like on the inside.   This Earth spins around because of the uniqueness of the ones living on it, you and I, and we are much better off not trying to compete over who’s problems are the biggest.  Truly.

How about we work together instead?  Let’s support each other, not rival.  Let’s listen, not one-up.  Let’s try to put ourselves in each others’ shoes, not assume that yours are more uncomfortable than mine.  I promise, things will go better.  Relationships will become more meaningful.  The fact that you have genuine care and concern will shine through.  And selfishly, you will be happier.  Because if we are able to open our minds and see that there are other people having their own battles, whatever they may be, you won’t feel so alone.  It may even make you appreciate your own.

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