Taking it Easy and the Search for Supermom

Have you ever noticed how hard it is to take a step back and let someone else help you? Even when it’s what the doctor orders, when it’s for your own well being or the safety of your own unborn child, this sense of guilt grips at your heart and you just cannot let it go? That’s the predicament I’ve come to find myself in this past week. Sitting as comfortably now as one can at 34 weeks, I started having real, honest-to-goodness contractions in my 32nd week. I contacted my doctor and she ordered me to slow down and take it easy.

Take it easy? Seriously? I have an almost five-and-a-half-year-old and an almost three-year-old on my hands at home with me all day long. Not to mention that my husband, who is incredibly supportive and helpful, is an accountant so from about the beginning of March through the middle of April I’m a tax widow.  Taking it easy is just not something that I thought I could afford to do. The day I received my doctor’s orders, I called my mom and younger sister and cried to them over the phone.

I cried because I felt guilty.

I cried because I felt like I was failing as a mother to my older children – the amount of TV they had been watching because of the snowy weather was accumulating to an amount that I’d rather not admit. How was I going to rest and entertain them without the aid of a screen? And what would other moms think if they knew that for weeks leading up to my contractions that was my way of survival…the TV babysitter? Don’t even get me started on what the kids had been eating…I think I probably ended up using my brinner (breakfast for dinner) option one too many times.

My sister took it upon herself to reach out to my friends and family members for help. There was a part of me that was embarrassed. What if no one wants to help me? Then there was a part of me that felt like I was being so silly. I don’t have cancer. I don’t have a partner who’s deployed in the Middle East protecting our freedom. I’m not a single mother. There are so many other women out there that have it worse than I do.

I lamented on my personal Facebook page about my realization that at this time in my life, my main job was to relax and keep this baby inside. One of my blogger friends commented and reminded me that Clark Kent probably didn’t worry about how clean his house was when he was resting up from saving the world. That one comment struck a chord with me. She’s right. Sometimes, the superhero needs to rest and that is a-okay.

But the truth of the matter was, even if I hate to admit it, I needed the help. I couldn’t go on day after day being everything I was trying to be and trying to keep this child inside of me growing and maturing. I had to come to the conclusion that I was vulnerable; I’m not Supermom, nor will I ever be her. Does she even exist? I have taken a step back. Sure, I went kicking and screaming into relaxation. When I’m really being honest the part of the situation that I just didn’t want to show anyone was that I, mother of two with one on the way, am vulnerable. I can’t do it all on my own all of the time.

So this Supermom character…who is she really? What if she’s not one perfect woman with supernatural powers to do it all and be everything at once? What if she’s really an entire community of women, coming together to love and support each other when another mother needs it the most? What if, rather than saving the day, Supermom calls out for help to other women who then take the call and come to her aid?

And that’s it, Supermom isn’t one perfect woman. She’s a community of moms, helping each other and loving every second of it. Sometimes all we need to do is woman up and admit that we can’t do it all on our own. Let your friends help you…they want to do it more than you know.