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Twin Cities Mom Collective

My 2nd Pregnancy: What I Know (And What I Wish I Didn’t)

“When are you due? You’re huge!” At seven months, pregnant my co-worker’s question made me laugh. I wasn’t that big. (Was I?) Regardless, I didn’t have the time to dwell on my growing size. There were too many other thoughts swirling around my mind.

My second pregnancy has been familiar yet entirely different. The routine of pregnancy quickly came back to me – the doctor’s appointments, the restrictions, the ache and pains. But my worries this time around are much different. 

I am thrilled to be able to bypass the concerns of first-time moms: planning the “perfect” delivery, buying the best car seat and obsessively learning about babies. But rather than being worry-free, there’s a new batch of concerns that stem from my experience as a mom. Nonetheless, I’m grateful for the wisdom I now have about life with a new baby – both what I know and what I wish I didn’t know.  

My 2nd Pregnancy: What I Know (And What I Wish I Didn't) | Twin Cities Moms Blog

What I know

The big picture. While the initial days and nights feel long, they don’t last forever. Soon enough the new baby smell fades and so do the sleepless nights. Knowing this phase is a small part of the big picture will help me appreciate those precious newborn moments that pass by all too fast.

The bond. Unlike some moms, I didn’t instantly bond with my son, which initially worried me. But there was amazing beauty in seeing our connection develop at the most unexpected times – during diaper changes, crying sessions and the quiet of early dawn.

The smile. Parenting a newborn can feel like a one-way street – until you see that first smile. Debuting at about six weeks, this smile arrives just as you begin to question your ability to endure. It makes the weeks of sleeplessness, constant feedings and self-denial all worthwhile. 

The transformation. My son’s birth introduced my husband and me to new dimensions of ourselves. Parts of us were left behind, but the amazing parts of us were also born. This time we get to see our son transform into a big brother while also discovering who we are as the parents of two kids.    

The value of a village. Parenthood made me realize that I can’t do it all on my own, nor can I be my son’s everything. I’ve learned the value of our village and seen the important role that family, friends, teachers, church members, and even complete strangers play in my family’s life.  

What I wish I didn’t know

The poop. Infant poop. How bad can it be? As a new mom, it was shocking to see – and hear – what can come out of my sweet, new baby. Newborn poop is smelly, colorful, pervasive and seems to find its way onto everything.

The sleepless nights. Babies give the term all-nighter a whole new meaning. But there are perks. You see the late night endeavors of your neighbors, discover that Friends is on at 2:30 a.m. and realize how much funnier things are when you’ve been awake for 24 hours.

The laundry. How can one little being create so much laundry? Changing outfits is a newborn’s favorite hobby, and they are determined to have you join the fun. I don’t even want to think about how long it takes to fold a pile of infant clothes. 

The recovery. The recovery period after labor gave me a peek into life as a grandma. I discovered the old lady personal care aisle at Target, complained about obscure aches and pains, and mastered the art of pretending that someone else had just passed gas unexpectedly. 

The time warp. Infants have magical control over time. They can make it feel like you’ve lived an entire day before 7 a.m. while also magically making hours at a time disappear. Upon exiting their alternate reality, a quick look at social media reveals that life does exist outside the infant vortex. 

As a “veteran” mom, I’ve discovered that the more you know about raising kids the less you truly understand. Often the magic formula of parenting is simply trusting your instincts and tackling the challenges as they come. After all, every phrase plays a unique role in your parenting journey – even the infant poop. 

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