Moms, how is your morning routine coming along? That well, huh? Please feel free to share this morning routine reality check with all your mom friends.
Ah, morning routines. There’s something about the allure of the millennial morning routine, which, according to TikTok, is some combination of drinking a glass of water, working out, skincare, supplements, making your bed, coffee, and having a paleo-Keto-Whole 30-approved-grain-and-dairy-free breakfast.
These routines…are not my reality. Well, besides the skincare. But I never make my bed.
The thing is, off our screens, real-life pops up, no matter how aspirational a routine we had planned for the day. Instead of a glow-y filter with perky music and “6:00 am” text floating across the screen as you rise out of bed, the baby was up several times that night, so you fight to stay in bed as long as possible. A kid throws a tantrum over getting dressed or brushing their teeth, and that was 20 minutes you didn’t plan for. Cheerios and milk get splashed across the entire kitchen floor. School gets moved to distance learning which doesn’t throw off only the morning but your entire week.
I do have a morning routine, though I’m not sure how aspirational it is. Maybe less aspirational and more relatable? Below, I present to you one Mom’s morning routine reality check. This is no TikTok video, so please imagine some dramatic Rocky-esque music while you read through:
6:30: Lie in bed semi-awake, hoping to fall asleep again.
7:00: Alarm rings. Hit snooze.
7:09: Turn off alarm. Take quick scroll through Instagram and weather forecast.
7:13: Go to the bathroom. Wash face. Apply toner, serum, and moisturizer. Brush teeth.
7:19: Stop mid-brush to help Child 1 find socks.
7:21: Finish brushing. Apply foundation, blush, mascara.
7:24: Help Child 3 brush their teeth.
7:26: Brush hair.
7:27: Put Child 2’s hair in pigtails.
7:30: Run straightener through hair.
7:32: Change into leggings and a sweater.
7:35: Start coffee. Give husband good morning kiss.
7:36: Pack lunches while kids eat breakfast.
7:41: Pour cup of coffee. Finish packing lunches.
7:50: Pack backpacks.
7:56: Yell to children that they better have changed out of their pajamas and brushed their teeth.
7:58: Yell again to children that I really mean it, and they better have changed out of their pajamas and brushed their teeth.
8:00: Check on Child 1, 2, and 3 to ensure they really do have clothes on and teeth brushed.
8:02: Tell Child 1 to brush teeth again. Endure whining and tell them yes, I’m serious.
8:07: Drink coffee and play Wordle.
8:12: Wipe down counters and put breakfast dishes in dishwasher.
8:16: Sneak off to bedroom for 10 minutes of yoga.
8:19: Ignore fight coming from kid’s room while in downward dog.
8:27: Put yoga mat away. Give kids 10-minute warning for bus.
8:36: Yell “time to catch the bus!” and bundle up for bus stop.
8:37: Send Child 1 upstairs to get their library books.
8:38: Help Child 2 find matching gloves. Assist Child 3 with their boots.
8:41: Walk to bus stop. Send children off on bus.
8:47: Re-heat coffee in microwave. Sip and enjoy quiet before tackling the rest of the day.
END
I still love me an aspirational morning-routine TikTok. But may I never forget that while the person on my screen shares their life in filtered bits and seconds, there’s so much more going on beyond the screen.
