Marriage and Kids: Making It Work

{Photo Credit: Lyly Photography}

After entering parenthood, many couples end up focusing so much on their kiddos that they forget about their relationship. Kids affect your life in every single way. This happens from the minute you wake up to the minute you fall asleep. I cannot deny that not-so-little fact.

My opinion is that you choose how you let kids affect your marriage. It’s your partner’s choice as well and it’s up to you both to talk about how you will let it drive your relationship. Providing for and making sure your kids are loved, taken care of, and grow up to be successful adults are all important goals. But, you can’t forget about your partner. You can’t minimize how important that relationship is.

Our kids come first but we ensure that we find time to work on our relationship. It’s not easy and we find ourselves letting it go when things get busy. We need to consciously remember to take the time to make it work to ensure our marriage stays strong, not just for our kids but for ourselves as well.

I love my husband and I try to make sure he sees and feels that he is a priority in my life. It’s really important to both of us to find time to spend together and to reconnect away from the kids. Sometimes we get into a rhythm of getting out every month to enjoy lunch, dinner, or a few hours doing errands without the kiddos. We spend this time talking, laughing and enjoying each other’s company. I do wish we could do it more often, but we are happy with the moments we do get.

We are not perfect. We get annoyed with each other. We disagree with each other A LOT. We get mad at each other. We need time away from each other.

And that is all okay. I will never be a person who says my relationship is perfect. It has its ups and downs, and its pros and cons, like anything else in life. What I constantly say and remind myself is that I CHOSE this man as my husband because of all the things I fell in love with. We make it work because we know why we are together, why we chose to build a life and family together, and we make those decisions together.

If something is not working, we figure it out and adjust. It can be painful and stressful, but we both have the mentality that we are in this together for life. THIS is what makes our marriage work after kids. We make it a priority to put each other first over the kids when we need to.

{Photo Credit: Whims and Joy Photography}

Does this affect the kids? Yes – but in the best way. They know their parents love each other because they see it every day. They know and understand what love means. One of my biggest hopes for my kids is that they will see us as an example of how to make a marriage work. It’s not all flowers and sunshine and I want them to understand that. Marriage takes a lot of work before and is especially hard after having kids.

It’s up to you to decide how you make this work for you. What do you do to show your love and commitment to your marriage?