Learning to Dance in the Rain

Hanging near the entryway of my house is a wooden sign with this saying written on it:

I received this gift in my early 20s. At the time, I imagined myself embracing the “rain” of life’s future storms. When my storms hit, I was going to enthusiastically dance through them. More than 10 years later, I still love this sign. But my dance through life’s storms is much different than I imagined. 

My season of storms

Last year my family and I were hit with a season of unexpected storms. We faced career obstacles, personal setbacks and parenting challenges. But the most significant storm was the loss of a family member, and this sorrow turned our world upside down. During this period, it felt as if every step forward was accompanied by a circumstance that pushed us back two steps. 

I wish I could say I had an inspirational response to these setbacks. For the world, I put on the facade of handling everything with poise and grace. But privately I responded with tears, frustrated outbursts, thoughts of “why me?” and the overall desire to hide.

Not surprisingly, my son didn’t put his tantrums, daily needs and the desire for a playmate on hold during this period. He still needed his mom. But most of all, he needed a living example of how to respond when the storms of life hit. So I started to dance.  

Dancing through the rain: 5 lessons learned

My dance through the storms wasn’t revolutionary or pretty. It was filled with heart-to-heart conversations, hours of journaling, lots of prayer and the overall hope that things would get better. But my dance was mine, and I not only made it through, but also learned a few lessons along the way. 

1. You don’t always get to pick the song
   Life sometimes takes us down paths we never would have chosen on our own. We may wish for a different reality, but the process of persevering through our storms helps define and refine us. These experiences give us depth, empathy, wisdom, and a profound belief in ourselves.
2. Your dance doesn’t have to be pretty
   Comparing our struggles to others’ hardships is like trying to grow a pineapple in Minnesota. It’s a fruitless effort. Dance through your rainy days in the way that is right for you. Trust that you’re making it through the best way you know how. While your journey won’t always be graceful, know that it’s leading to something beautiful. 
3. Anticipate the next song
   We can’t hide from our storms, but we can hope for the rainbow. When challenges threaten to overwhelm us, it can feel as if life will never get easier. Fight this feeling by seeking what brings you joy. These moments of happiness – no matter how brief – will sustain you until the light appears on the horizon.
4. Never dance alone
   Life isn’t meant to be lived alone, especially during tough times. Be mindful about who you turn to during your storms, knowing that different songs require different partners. Seek out those who will offer comfort but also push you to lift your head above the clouds.
5. Cherish your storms
   Your storms may not be pretty, but they are a part of you. Cherish the ways they change how you see the world. Allow them to open your eyes to the many blessings we are so prone to take for granted. And share your story. In the midst of a storm, there are few words more powerful than hearing someone say, “I’ve been there too.” 

Part of being a mom is facing the big problems that scare you half to death –  the ones that twist your gut, keep you up at night and make it hard to see hope. But our imperfect journeys through the tough times teach our kids how to dance through their own storms. Let your kids see you dance in the rain so that they can learn the art of persevering.

Whether you see storm clouds on the horizon or are just emerging from the rain, I hope you dance.