Doulas are all the rage these days. I even thought about quitting my day job to become one, but I was afraid to talk to my boss about it—teething 9-month-olds are tyrants. Jokes. (Future Ollie, if you read this on the interwebs in 20 years, you’re the best boss. And you should know, your entrance into the world was greatly assisted by a superstar Doula named Nina.)
I’ll be honest. I was the perfect candidate for a doula: a highly anxious recovering Google addict with an unexpected pregnancy, willing to pay for anything if it enhanced my physical and emotional comfort. Yes, a doula and this mama are a match made in Heaven.
I started researching my options when I was around 8 weeks pregnant because I wanted to take advantage of the full spectrum of support doulas offer. I was terrified of labor and birth, and I knew I’d need the reassuring emotional support of another woman as soon as possible. Typically, a doula is available by phone or email once you hire her, along with a set number of in-person meetings throughout the pregnancy. I wanted to get comfortable with mine early on to ensure she’d know how to best support me during labor.
We interviewed a couple of great doulas, and though all were knowledgeable and passionate, choosing Nina was easy. She had a peaceful presence, a calm voice, and an arsenal of essential oils. She was a mom herself, which appealed to me because I had no idea what I was doing. Most importantly, she laughed at my sarcastic remarks and understood my obscure Indie band references.
Most women hire doulas for emotional and physical support during labor, but like I said, having mine as a resource from the beginning was a huge asset. Nina suggested natural remedies for my crazy nausea, shared high-protein snack recipes to bring to work, and recommended yoga poses to ease my hip and back pain. It was like having a personalized BabyCenter forum, minus the accompanying anxiety attacks.
One helpful aspect I would recommend to any mom-to-be: we had all our meetings in my home. I knew I’d be laboring in my house for a long time before we went to the birth center, so it was helpful to give Nina the “lay of the land” ahead of time. She knew where to park, where the bathroom was, and where the cleaning supplies were in case I peed on the floor during labor.
And, inevitably, I peed on the floor during labor. Enter doula in her prime. My husband was as helpful a birth partner as he could be, but nothing compares to having another woman around—a woman dedicated to my emotional and physical needs. Nina empathized with my experience in a way no man ever could, reminding me what my body was made for because hers was, too. She advocated for me and encouraged me when hard choices came up. She held my hand as I pushed and drew out strength I didn’t know I had. Thanks to Nina’s presence and care, I never experienced my greatest fear during labor and birth: feeling out of control and alone.
Around the time Ollie was born, Nina became a certified postpartum doula. I had a pretty enjoyable pregnancy and a reasonably short, uncomplicated birth; however, I was pretty much a nutcase the first few weeks postpartum. Reality set in, and I began to question if I could handle motherhood. A postpartum doula just made sense for me emotionally. Nina helped me to process my birth story, affirming the decisions I made and relaying details from Ollie’s earliest moments I hadn’t noticed but now treasure. She had been by my side through the most turbulent, important moments of my life, so when she told me I was the best mom for my baby, I believed her.
Practically, having a doula around postpartum kept me sane. Laundry got done, the dog was walked, snacks were prepared, and my water bottle was always full. There’s value in having a friend or family member help when possible, but something about actually paying someone to hold Ollie while I slept or showered eclipsed some of that mama guilt. It empowered me to set the guidelines—none of that “do things my way” tension I may have felt with others. Having a doula’s help offered the predictability and structure I desperately needed in those early days.
Now, nine months later, the training wheels are off. I’m honestly surprised by my ability to mother. When I found out I was pregnant, I really didn’t think my body would be capable of sustaining a baby, let alone birthing or breastfeeding one. My doula cultivated confidence in me, the most valuable investment I’ve ever made.
Sit me down, and I’ll ooze accolades for Nina. And really, for any doula: I could list a thousand benefits, and clinical research agrees. According to DONA, doula-attended births often result in shorter labors, fewer interventions and C-sections, successful breastfeeding, and a generally more positive birth experience.
Thankfully, the Twin Cities has a strong birth community, with no shortage of amazing doulas. Resources like The Childbirth Collective and the Twin Cities Doula Project are great starting points to find support for pregnancy and birth. Many local hospitals and birth centers also have their own doula interns or on-call doulas available to use at any point during labor. Whether you are newly pregnant or days away from your due date, please consider hiring a doula—she will be your advocate, support, encourager, and if you’re as lucky as I am, a lifelong friend.
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