There are many things about the year 2020 that I’ll be glad to leave behind, and I know that no one needs to recap the year for anybody at this point. We are all aware. The amount of volatile adjectives we could use to describe it would fill pages. But I will say, there is one thing I have learned through this crazy year that I want to keep: How to be human again.
For most of us earlier this year, life seemed to pause for the first time in our adult lives. With all the usual activities and routines interrupted, we suddenly had time to fill. Yet before we knew it, that void was quickly filled with an exorbitant amount of screen time. Between work video calls, checking the news, letting the kids watch whole seasons of their favorite shows while we tried to figure out what everyone else was doing, peering through the social media windows we hold in our hands… technology took over.
While on one hand I’m thankful for what we can accomplish through technology (I may never go back to real grocery shopping, ever!) and how we can still semi-connect with people, I noticed all this screen-use taking a toll on my family. It certainly wasn’t easing any stress or worry.
When I came across the concept of interrupting all the touch-screen, tech-driven activities and instead opting for doing human things, it felt like fresh water to a parched soul. I had already read a lot about choosing a simpler way of life and being more present as a mom, so the upheaval that this year brought us was the catalyst I needed to really embrace this concept. This weirdest of times gave me a chance to rediscover the joy and simplicity of just being human.
Human, like watering a tomato plant that is barely hanging on. Human, like brewing a pot of french press coffee. Human, like snuggling with sticky children and trying to read them a book. Human, like going for a walk and feeling the breeze.
In contrast, I can’t say how many times my kids have said “Mom!” before I answer them, because of scrolling endless information on my phone. Information that doesn’t add much value to my life. Information that isn’t as important as the real, gorgeous little human trying to get my attention.
I can’t explain away the hours of trails I have followed when I decided to just quickly check for sales on kids swimsuits online, which led to the ad about that sofa I love, which reminded me that I should look into a carpet cleaner, but… look at how quickly houses are selling in our neighborhood! Maybe we should sell. Have you seen the guy who has a whole vlog on the progress of the pole barn home he’s building?
Am I right?
Doing basic human things, in other words, stuff you can’t do with a touch screen or the click of a button, grounded me in a way that made me more present and aware of the details all around me that I had been missing. I found out that I don’t have such a black thumb with plants after all, and that my kids are old enough to learn to play chess, and that my husband and I enjoy our back patio dates more than we ever enjoyed going to restaurants.
But the best thing I discovered is that when the stress of all the things happening in the world is getting to me, or it’s just been a difficult day of parenting, these human activities are a soothing reminder that it’s okay that we are not perfect and we will get through this. And that makes me a nicer human to be around.
It has been a wild ride this year, and we are all still trying to figure out what we are doing. Might I encourage you to make your own list of human things you love to do and generously sprinkle them throughout your days? Here is my list. My family and I have done all of these so far. Please feel free to borrow any ideas that make you come alive!
- Read a favorite book, just for fun. (Pride and Prejudice was a good start for me!)
- Buy plants, pots, gardening gloves… The works. Don’t be shy.
- Try new kinds of tea.
- Learn new ways of making coffee.
- Get really good at a recipe for something you love to eat at restaurants. I learned to make pesto and bruschetta with my own tomatoes and basil! I’m shocked with myself!
- Learn the names of the trees or birds around your house.
- Paint a room.
- Change a lightbulb. Sew on a button. Hang a picture.
- Learn a new board game with the kids.
- Organize a closet.
- Tell your kids some of your childhood stories.
- Plant trees.
- Lay in a hammock.
- Hang those patio lights you’ve always talked about.
- Let your kids bake something and try to sit back and watch without interfering.
- Journal again.
- Write notes to your spouse.
- Chase and tickle your kids.
- Try a new hairstyle.
- Laugh a lot, and cry too.
- Set out an over-the-top ice cream sundae spread.
- Plan a surprise for your kids or spouse.
- Play legos or puzzles as a family.
- And the list keeps growing…
Yes, while bird-watching I looked up the names of birds on my phone. We ate ice cream sundaes during our Friday family movie night. I ordered groceries online. And I reheat my coffee in the microwave countless times. Technology is a part of life, but it doesn’t need to be the main part. The wellbeing of my family is the main part and that is one thing that this abrupt year has caused me to re-prioritize. So, if you will excuse me, I have some laundry to sort through and throw at my kids, which will inevitably start a sock war full of shrieks and giggles.
