Whenever people find out my husband, Jamie, and I work together we get all sort of comments and reactions. Some good, some funny, and others really sad. But the biggest question we get asked…
What is it like working with your husband?⠀
How in the world do you work with your wife? ⠀
I love working with my husband. However, I’d be lying if I said it was simple. It’s not easy. It takes work every single day. Just like any relationship with your boss, colleague, family, friends, or clients it takes putting an effort in. It takes work to keep any relationship strong. ⠀
We wanted to share some of the lessons we’ve learned and how we’re able to work together with those who are considering working with their spouse or are just curious how we do it.
1. Make a choice and put in the effort
We made a thoughtful choice to work with one another. We often have to remind ourselves and one another this. It takes daily effort. It takes me making a choice every day to love my husband and work with him.
You are choosing to work with your husband or wife, which means your about to put some significant things on the line. There will be no such thing as family, work, life balance… because it will all quickly blend together and be intertwined.
But I mean, how could you not want to work with this face every day? haha!
⠀{Photo Credit: Chelsie Lopez Production}
Making a choice to work with one another also means making a lot of thoughtful choices throughout the day. I make a choice to check in multiple times throughout the day with Jamie, as he does with me. We make a choice to ask one another how we can help (no matter how full our plate already might be). We choose and have to remind ourselves to ask each other how their day is going.
Little acts like this throughout the day, make the world of a difference for us. It shows we care. It also means when little conflicts arise throughout the day, we squash them immediately. Or if it’s out of our control, game plan together on how we can take care of the issue.
2. Stay in your own lane & trust your partner
We quickly learned that this is the biggest and most important lesson. This advice came from a dear friend of ours that also works with her significant other. Even though we own our business together and work alongside one another, we stay in our own lanes and respect one another’s roles. This is crucial.
Jamie is a contractor and a very smart man. If he makes a decision and I even slightly think it’s off, I just keep my mouth shut, because that is his lane. And visa versa… if we’re doing a design and I choose a selection that Jamie isn’t totally a fan of or knows can’t work, he never speaks up. However, if he knows it can’t work, he’ll tell me later in privacy and not embarrass me in public. Don’t get me wrong- we have both spoken up in the past. This definitely leads to an argument and doesn’t make either of us look good. What always happens, even in those moments of prior conflict, is that our initial decisions were right. We now know to stay in our own lanes. We learned to trust our partner because they know exactly what they are doing and that’s their job. Creating beautiful spaces for our clients is what we are always working together towards.
⠀{Photo Credit: Chelsie Lopez Production}
3. Put family first
Work, family, date nights… soon it will all blend together. Jamie and I work, what feels like, 24/7. There’s not an off switch. We run our own business. Which means projects have to get done, bills have to be paid, and clients and employees have to stay happy. There’s no 9-5 for us.
Every week, deadlines are creeping up, orders are being delayed, and we are never ready for the weekend to hit. But as we like to remind one another we’re not doctors here, we’re just remodeling houses.
However, there is a time when our kids have to be picked up. Just recently, we put a new expectation on our clients that come at 6:00 pm. We have a couple hours that we are not available so that we can spend time with our family. There’s only so many small hours in the day, and those hours are precious memorable moments for our boys, so family first.
Even while we’re pushing our kids on the swings or out on the lake, Jamie and I are still almost always talking business, because that is our life. We’re ok with that – because we’re choosing this life to live.
Alongside putting family first, we also often have to remind ourselves to put our relationship first and foremost.
{Photo Credit: Lissadee}
4. You get to know one another differently
The coolest part about working with your significant other is that you get to know them on another level. With your co-workers, you always take those strength and weakness tests. You know what I’m talking about? You never think to take those sort of things with your partner. We’ve done them all and have learned so much more about one another. These findings show not only how to talk to each other and work through work-related issues, but also in our marriage.
5. Be a team!
When either of us is stressed out or have too much on our plate, the other jumps in with all hands in. We strategize, help one another out, and always have one another’s back. Bottom line.
Projects are often behind and new ones are always starting. When that happens, I’m right out there in the field, rolling up my sleeves, helping my man get things done. Emails can always wait.
That’s what it’s like for us to work together.
For us, we’re a team. And we wouldn’t live our best life any other way.
{Photo Credit: K. Solberg Photography}
