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Twin Cities Mom Collective

Homework Advice

Now that we’re a month into the school season, how’s the homework situation going in your house? That first week or two, it’s hard to tell, isn’t it? With new teachers, new subjects and in some cases, new schools, it can be hard to gauge what the homework expectations are going to be for the school year.

With three teenagers, we’ve seen all aspects of the homework spectrum. We even have two kids in the same grade in two different school districts, so we’ve seen how wildly things can vary even at the same learning level. Our current average per night is about 2-3 hours for our high school freshmen and about 5-6 hours for our high school senior. A little insane, I agree, but it is what it is.

Homework Advice | Twin Cities Moms Blog

While each of our kids is very different, there are a few questions we’ve wrestled with over the years that are good to consider as you’re setting the homework tone for your family:

  • Should homework be done right away, before any other activities, or should kids have a chance to relax after their long day of school?

In my experience, this is both age dependent and kid dependent. The younger they are, the more they need a break or some downtime after school (especially when the weather is nice!). The older they are, the more they understand the value of getting things done early so they can truly relax or enjoy another activity. Even so, their personalities come into play. We have one who’s a procrastinator, one who will do his homework on the bus so he has less to do at home, and one who won’t do anything else until her homework is complete.  

Homework Advice | Twin Cities Moms Blog

  • Should you reward your child if he does well in school or punish him if he doesn’t?

This one is tough. We’ve always set the expectation with our kids that they WILL do their best…no matter what. This doesn’t mean we expect them to always get A’s, but we continually challenge them to evaluate whether they’re trying their hardest. We’ve never paid our kids to get good grades, but they know they need to do well in school before they can participate in any extra curricular activities. Luckily, we’ve never had to make a hard decision to pull them from an activity or limit them from other fun things due to poor grades, but I’d do it in a heartbeat if I had to.

Homework Advice | Twin Cities Moms Blog

  • What’s the right way to motivate my kids to do their homework?

We talk about school at the breakfast table and the dinner table. Instead of silly car games, we’ve always done spelling or math quizzes. Not in a hard core way, but in a matter of fact, let’s have fun with it sort of way. We try to make learning and curiousity a part of our everyday lives and instill it as a family trait. I do believe this has helped over the years. Our kids like to learn. They understand the importance of school and the difference an education can make in your life. That’s not to say it’s always been easy…we have one that fights us constantly about homework. But we persist and we have patience with her. She knows we’ll never give up on her and she knows we won’t let her give up on herself.

Homework Advice | Twin Cities Moms Blog

  • Should parents help or not help with homework?

I wholeheartedly believe that parents should engage in their kids’ homework efforts, at all ages. Now, that participation level should evolve as kids grow older, but taking an active interest in what they’re learning and working on shows them the value you place on their education. Helping them with studying and projects is part of that engagement, but I think it’s also important to be involved to encourage and motivate them. In elementary school, they need to be prompted, guided and inspired. In middle school, they need help organizing, planning and creating good study habits. And in high school, they need your coaching, cheerleading and real world applications. Our kids don’t always want our help and oftentimes they even fight it, but they know they can always count on us for support, encouragement, and guidance. Another tip? Capitalize on help from older brothers or sisters, babysitters, peer groups or even tutors to provide a welcome break from parental advice.

Homework Advice | Twin Cities Moms Blog

  • What’s the right level of parental participation on projects and homework?

The answer is just enough. You aren’t there to “correct” and “do,” but to “review” and “provide feedback.” It’s up to your child to take that feedback and incorporate it into their work. Does that always happen? Nope. Is that frustrating, especially when you know you’re right and that it will impact their grade? Yep. Do the jagged cuts and colors outside the lines make their poster look messy?  Yep.  Stay strong and let them make their own mistakes.  

Homework Advice | Twin Cities Moms Blog

  • Is it more productive for my child to her homework in a quiet, isolated environment or in an area where a parent is watching and accessible?

When they’re young and you are in task management mode, doing homework in an area where you can keep an eye on them is imperative. As they grow older, creating more independent work habits is important, so some isolation can be helpful. We’ve never let our kids study in their rooms…too many distractions. They are either at our kitchen table, in the office or in the living room…with just enough privacy but still in close proximity for checking up and helping out. We used to limit cell phone usage during homework time, but that has proven to be ineffective, especially as they get into high school. There are so many peer group study communications taking place via text and social media that it’s virtually like cutting off a life line of support for them.

Homework Advice | Twin Cities Moms Blog

While you may not agree with my words of advice, I encourage you to proactively think through these questions and discuss what’s right for your family. It will help you define a common homework culture for your household that you can agree upon and enforce. Reassess things regularly and be prepared to modify your approach per kid and per grade. Be flexible, be strong, stay involved and give them “just enough” independence, guidance, encouragement and support. Homework is as much of a pain for us parents as it is for the kids, but it’s an important means to an end…lifelong learning skills and knowledge that will carry our kids into the future.

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2 comments

Megan Lebens October 22, 2014 at 7:46 AM

Fantastic post!! Thanks so much for sharing!! My kiddos are young (4 & 6) but this is something my husband and I started talking about recently. Thanks for all the thoughts!! Great stuff!!

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Karri Larson October 24, 2014 at 9:59 AM

Great post Jen…I can’t believe your senior has that much homework! I don’t look forward to that at all…but it must be paying off with the caliber of colleges she is visiting!

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