Guns in the House

Here’s a question: when your kid is going to sleepover (or even to spend any amount of time) at a new friend’s house, do you ask the parents if they have a gun in their house? And if they say “yes”…

Whoa right.

Minnesota is a state of hunters, over 550,000 hunting licenses were granted in 2010 (the latest year for which data is available). It stands to reason that these hunters legally own or have legal access to, a firearm. Additionally, Minnesota is a conceal-and-carry state, which means people with a license can carry a concealed handgun. There are almost 195,000 active carry permits as of September 2015.

Chances are you, your friends or your kids’ friends have a gun in their house.

There were guns in my house growing up – my parents are hunters. There were guns in my partner’s house growing up – hers are in law enforcement. We were both taught what a gun is capable of and how to safely use it with a target, which demystified them for us. My stepdad (who owned no less than 20 guns) used to say: “Guns are serious business, so you must take them seriously.” Both of us understood before our tenth birthday that guns can kill. But not all kids are raised in these environments. So far, mine aren’t.

I also understand that kids are curious. We’ve all heard the tragic stories of what can happen when curiosity is coupled with access to a gun. My kids are not yet of sleepover age, but they will be before I realize it. So do I ask before they go if there are guns in the house? I take their safety seriously in every other way that I can control – car seats, lifejackets, carbon monoxide detectors, limited sugar intake, no crib bumpers, cleaning stuff in a locked cabinet, no second-hand smoke exposure – which means I should at the very least be aware of guns in a home in order to make an informed decision.

So yes, yes I will ask. And if they say there are guns in the house I will ask follow-up questions about how they are stored and where the ammunition is kept. I (with my partner’s input, obviously) can then decide whether or not our kid(s) will be spending time at that house. Likewise, I will not mind or judge if a kid’s parents ask me if we have guns in our house. In fact, maybe I’ll bring it up when we’re making the plans in an effort to have this conversation move from the awkward, or even taboo, realm into the completely reasonable allergy and bedtime routine vein of sleepover prep.

I may make someone uncomfortable when I ask. I may even offend. I could lose a friend or two. But I’d rather be the mom who asked and risked offense or friendship instead of becoming the mom of one of those tragic stories. Plus, if we all started asking or offering this information right away, wouldn’t it start to normalize a healthy conversation about guns, especially if we do it in front of our kids so they can learn too?