Dear Preschool Teacher,
My son met a little boy in his preschool class last year. In the classroom, their differences might have been apparent when it comes to the items within the room that catches each of their eyes. My son will project the noises of super heroes, sporting events and race cars roaring up and down tables and chair. His friend would choose differently.
We might both agree when we witness their running friendship and think of the fairy-tale, “Opposites attract.” My son’s friend, who is now 5-years-old, gravitates towards the color pink, singing and drawing mermaids. He adores the pretty things in life, especially princesses, Arial at best – he and I have that one in common.
Teacher, do you feel like you’ve truly succeeded in your job when you see the skills and creative minds blossom in these children – one after one, year after year? It’s like – Yes! I did that. I’m sure you do, because I feel that way too. Like you, my job as a mother of a PreK student is also to teach. Earlier this year, my son asked me if his friend was a boy or girl. Without my reply, he continued to tell me his friend told him he doesn’t have a “little boy part” because he was a girl. Although I knew his friend was interested in the opposite items my son was, I had never heard or known it to be to the extent that a 5-year-old little boy considered himself a girl.
At this point I was interested, as most adults would be. I asked my son what he said… guess what he told me? Teacher, I’ll never forget this conversation. He laughed and said,
If he wants to be a girl, he can be a girl…I don’t care! But mom, I know he still has a little boy part, right?
Our children’s mind, how simple and profound they are. That answer coming out of my 5-year-old’s mouth was one of those moments for me where I felt I had really succeeded at my job. It was my – Yes! I did that moment. Previously here, I shared how important it is in our family to treat others as you wish to be treated, no matter their religion, race, sexual orientation, lifestyle and more.
Teacher, we choose your classroom because sometimes we need that extra boost in life for our children. We do not choose your classroom because of the pretty colors, games, or religious history of your organization. Your classroom was chosen because our children walk out everyday yearning to go back, yearning to learn more. Pat yourself on the back, teacher… you’re doing well and by the wait list to get into your classroom, it shows.
You and I know best that our children deserve to know their wants and dreams are important. Encouragement and praise will only provide the confidence they need before they enter the real world, because the real world is terrifying. Right? We believe in structure, yet we believe in play. We know the importance of letting them be little.
Teacher, when you tend to remind my son’s friend that he cannot be “Mom” while he chooses to play house, instead of demolition derby with the other boys… it makes me wonder, but why won’t you let him be mom? Daily, you and I allow our children to be farmers, astronauts, professional athletes, kings and queens because their beautiful mind doesn’t see limitations. Children don’t deserve to see the limitations we’re prone to see, they deserve to be taught they can and will be whatever they want in life. Teacher, you are a mom also. Rather than this parent-teacher letter, I’d like to speak to you mom-to-mom.
Fellow mom, what we do as mothers is hard. I trust you know everything about the words “hard” and “work.” We do not learn how to raise children overnight, it takes practice and it demands a whole lot of love along with beliefs. When our children come home with their thoughts reworked and rerouted from what they know themselves, it is not what we hope to come from a teacher. What we do as mothers is to stand up, encourage and trust the wants and needs of our children – all children. We can call tendencies coming from children a phase. I know, my son went through a phase full of Mario Brothers and chocolate milk. Currently he’s in a “phase” of believing he will someday play for the Minnesota Wild. Yet to me, this is not a phase, this is his want because he loves the game and in his mind that’s all that matters to me. My son’s friend loves pink and Barbies. He loves to make his nails shine with a file and he loves to play house, in his mind he wants to be mom. Should we not be proud?
Teacher, you are doing well. Yet, I believe there is room in your heart and your mind that shows parents today, you can do better. Let him be mom.
