Dear Expectant Mama

As your first pregnancy finally approaches that hallowed 40-week mark, and time seems to grind to a halt, you’re likely contemplating the changes ahead. If you’re anything like me, you’re probably feeling a confusing mix of emotion, with equal parts “Why can’t I be in labor yet,” “I’m so ready to meet this baby,” and “Let’s just get this birthing part over with” (along with a healthy dose of “What the heck are we getting ourselves into?”) No words can quite capture the excitement, anticipation and nervous energy of those last few weeks with child.

I’ve sure you’ve heard this a million times, but it bears repeating: Enjoy these last few days or (heaven forbid!) weeks. More specifically, enjoy your sleep. Savor the freedom of being able to flop into bed as early as 6 p.m. Relish your ability to get several hours in a row of glorious, uninterrupted sleep (until that pesky sciatica pain or overcrowded bladder kicks in). Because, as I’m sure you’ve also heard, nothing can really prepare you for the sheer exhaustion that comes with being a new parent.

From the moment you go into labor, quality sleep will become a thing of the past. You’ll be lucky to snatch a few hours if you get an epidural. Once baby arrives, though, all bets are off. You’re entering the most exhausting stretch of life as you know it.

The days will blur together in a whirlwind of feeding, soothing, changing diapers, burning through every show in your Netflix queue, and constantly wondering, “Why is this wet?” At times, you may wonder if there will ever come a day when you can sleep for more than two or three hours in a row. (Don’t worry, there will.)

But also, as I’m sure you’ve heard, nothing can prepare you for the joy of welcoming your baby into the world. No words can describe the wonder of holding her for the first time, looking into her eyes, hearing her voice and touching the hands and feet that have been kicking you for all these months. You’ll spend hours just looking at your little one’s precious face. You’ll be awestruck that something so beautiful was growing inside you. That you had a hand in creating such a perfect little person and ushering this tiny person into the world will blow you away.

Becoming a mother changes you. As Anne Lamott said, “There are places in your heart you don’t even know exist until you have a child.” You’ll reach depths of love you never thought possible. You’ll have a stronger appreciation for your own mom. And you’ll gain a deeper respect for yourself and other mamas.

Of course, it’s not all rainbows and roses. There will be days when you consider it a victory just to get your teeth brushed by dinner time — and that’s okay. Be gentle with yourself and take it one day at a time.

When you run into these rough patches, as everyone does, remember that you’re not alone. Billions of mothers around the globe have been through this remarkable journey. Every single one of them has made mistakes. So when you’re on your twelfth-night feeding, and it’s 2 a.m., and your nipple is bleeding and you can’t tell up from down, remember… this, too, shall pass.

For now, though, forget about those worries. Don’t dwell on the gazillion things that could go wrong. Instead, focus on what a privilege it is to be a mother, to bring forth and nurture new life from your own body.

You’ll be the most important person in the world to your baby. You’ll find that you have endless reserves of strength, resilience, and resourcefulness. You’ll gain a new confidence knowing that nobody understands your baby better than you. And after giving birth and taking care of a newborn, you’ll know you can tackle any challenges that come your way.