Choosing Presence

“If you had a full bank account and a clear calendar, what would you do?”

I’m reading Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist right now for the second time and that’s one of the questions she asks.

The second time around and I still sit and think about this question. And I’m still not sure how to answer…

As moms, I think we kind of get lost at times. Or at least I do. 

One day I know my dreams, goals, and what motivates me. The next second, I’m lost and just trying to navigate the day, and I’m staying focused so I can get through it. 

Lost in serving our husbands, lost in raising kids and the demands of those kids, lost in the hustle of trying to keep up with the Joneses… whoever that is… 

Choosing Presence | Twin Cities Moms Blog

{Photo Credit: Laura Engfer}

For me, most times I’m cruising a very large ship and we’re just trying not to hit the boulders and break that baby along the way.

At my grandpa’s funeral, my uncle talked about my grandpa sailing his sailboat in the Chesapeake Bay with just him and my other uncle. A storm came out of nowhere and they were trying to get back to land safely. When coming back into the harbor, my grandpa told my two young uncles (young at the time) what they needed to do. One of the things was if the boat is about to hit the rocks, they needed to jump out onto the rock and push the boat back in. And my uncle responded, “What if I’m not strong enough, what if I can’t?” And my grandpa responded, “You are and you will, because we have to.” And they made it home. 

I have many other sailing adventures with my grandpa, many good and a few kinda scary, but not that scary! However, my grandpa raised me this exact way because I’ve always carried that same mentality from my family. 

Let’s not let anyone drown – not our family, our friends, or complete strangers. Let’s pick one another up and remind them that life isn’t perfect. We’re gonna all make it out of here alive, people.

As mommas, we’re juggling all the balls and trying not to let one drop and break. Because if and when we do, it’s a hurricane! 

I get so caught up in serving my husband, kids, our team and our clients that I forget my own needs and desires sometimes. And when that happens I lose sight of the most important thing: my own dreams. And when my dreams aren’t intact, I can tell everyone is a little off. 

Choosing Presence | Twin Cities Moms Blog

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy. I work hard, I work full-time to pursue the life I want to create for my family, our team and myself, but reading Niequist’s book has me thinking… what are my dreams now?

Because if I had a full bank account and a clear calendar… right now… at this exact moment… would we be still doing the same thing? Would I still be living the same life I’m living right now? 

My first thought when I read this question was just to slooooow down. I would go lay on a beach where nobody could bother me. However, I wouldn’t want to be alone because I hate being alone. I would want my husband there to love on me without distractions like kids and power tools. But then I know we’d miss our kids so I would want someone there that could help me with our kids, so I wouldn’t have to hear them whine. And then we wouldn’t have to fight about who was going to feed them or find their toy or put them to bed. Ha! 

Choosing Presence | Twin Cities Moms Blog

In reality, I’m not sure if that is actually what I would do with a full bank account and a clear schedule. Knowing me, I would drive full force into working, helping others and take that money and that clear calendar and help them pursue their dreams. But, would I if I actually had the money?! 

I don’t know, and it’s a question I’m going to think deeply on for a while. I want to live my life like that is exactly what I have. 

This book also talked about resting, especially as mothers. We strive for this perfection, as moms, that we’re never going to achieve and that sometimes all we need is rest. And no, resting is not what you call staying at home, getting the laundry done, cooking dinner, washing all the dishes, and cleaning the house… being home doesn’t mean we “rested.”  

Since the first round of this book, I’ve been taking breaks when I’m feeling tired. It’s okay to sit on the couch for an hour and not open up your emails. It’s okay to check out and take a mental break. It’s okay to pick up that book that’s been sitting on your nightstand collecting dust. Because guess what mommas, we’re always going to be striving for something more. Let’s all listen to our bodies when we need to rest. And let’s remember that our dreams are goals, if we want them to be. 

What about you guys? What would you do if you had a full bank account and a clear calendar? 

Morgan Molitor
Momma to two beautiful boys and wifey to a hunk of a hubby. Aside from taking care of her family, Morgan is one half of construction2style, a husband and wife home r​emodeling​, styling, and blogging team. construction2style specializes in ​full home residential ​​remodeling, ​interior styling, ​carpentry, and custom-built furniture designs. Morgan and her husband, Jamie, blog about every detail of their current projects, helping readers replicate them in their own homes. She hopes you can learn a thing or two ​through her posts ​about running your own business, home decor, social media marketing… all while being a wife and mom.

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