Because I Can Do Better

 

Because I Can Do Better | Twin Cities Mom Collective{Photo Credit: Whims and Joy Photography}

As a parent, you want to do right by your kids….Be there for them…Stand up for them…protect them…

It seems like every day, I come across another story or social media post talking about a fight at a school and there always seems to be a comment or interview from a parent that really only tells one side of the story. Picking a fight at school or writing or saying something offensive about another child is never right. I always question and ask, but why? Why does this keep happening in our schools?

It makes me wonder, if this happened to one of my children, would my first reaction be to run out and tell people that “so and so” is awful? Or would I try to listen and understand why it happened, no matter what part my child may have played?  I love my boys but let me be honest, they don’t always tell me the whole truth so that they don’t get into trouble. One will come to me and say his brother pushed him, but doesn’t tell me the part where he pushed his brother first. It reminds me that you can’t always take things at face value.

Because I Can Do Better | Twin Cities Mom Collective{Photo Credit: Whims and Joy Photography}

My oldest is in fourth grade and in two years he will be going into middle school. I’ll be honest, I’m scared. I’m scared of what he’ll run into with other kids. I’m scared of how they will treat him and how he will treat others. Will what I’ve taught him about respecting others and what to do when he is not being respected be enough? I remember being a teenager and I remember too well that my emotions would sometimes get the better of me, and I did or said something I later regretted. It may not matter that I try to teach him to let the bad words roll off his back. Intentional or not, how do I handle that as a parent? What can I do to prepare my boys for what can happen away from home?

I can always do and be better.

How my boys treat and talk to others starts with me. If I want them to treat others with respect, they need to SEE me treat others with respect.

I can do better…

I realize what I say and do is being noticed… I am being watched by my boys. They see how I talk and interact with friends, family, and strangers. Am I nice? Do I say please and thank you?

I can do better…

Kids are sponges. What they see and hear at school or at other places outside the home can influence them. The bad words and phrases may not be coming from me, but it can come from anywhere. I can talk to them about what they may hear or learn from other kids at school, social media, others we interact with in public, and television. I can teach them why we don’t say those things or do certain things in our household. I can’t stop others, but I can teach my boys to always think before they speak and what they can do when they hear or see things we’ve taught them isn’t a good thing.

I can do better…

I am not perfect. We all slip up and do or say something we probably shouldn’t be saying or doing. I can do better at how I react and handle it when things like this happen. I can address it immediately with my boys and correct myself. Be aware of my mistake, admit to it, and make sure they understand I did a bad thing. Parents mess up and that’s okay too.

I can do better…

As a parent, I may be too quick with decisions and not fully getting the story of what happened. I can do better by asking more questions, really understand what happened and recognize my kid’s role in the situation. I can teach my kids to be honest and transparent. It’s easy to blame someone else if you know you will get in trouble. I can teach my kids that you may make a mistake, but own up to it. Yes, you will probably get in trouble, but I’d rather them tell me their mistake and learn from it. I can do better at being more open to listen so they are not scared to tell me the whole truth. I can show them that even though there is a consequence, there is a benefit to telling me what happened.

This is a part of growing up. As much as I want to keep it all sunshine and rainbows, they will eventually have to see things I don’t want them to see. I don’t have to like it and I don’t have to agree with it, but this is my promise to you, my boys, I will and can do better.

Aimee Norasingh
Aimee is considered first generation, born and raised right in Minnesota made possible by her parents who are Vietnamese refugees. She is married to her husband Paul and they have four handsome boys - Davis (2010), twin boys, Miles and Quincy (2012), and Jones (2019). Aimee works as a Relationship Manager for her day job, has a love for delicious food, and is always ready for the next adventure with her little family. Follow Aimee and her family through Instagram Pinterest Facebook

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