Beast Mother to Mama Bear

I’m patient and kind with my children. I am. I’m a good mother. However, it takes only a moment and then I can turn into Beast Mother as I have so rightly labeled myself. How can that be? It’s like my patience level hits its max threshold and I snap. When that milk has been spilled for the 4^th time that day, well…let’s just put on the record that I would never cry about spilled milk. I thought I had it under control. Didn’t I learn from the Berenstain Bears the proper way to behave?

But I’m human. And as much as I want/expect my children to be perfect all the time, they are human too. Although I do set high expectations for my kids (and myself), I also want to teach them how to live in this world, how to properly function as humans.

Sorry has become a big part of our family. I feel it’s very important to take a big gulp and say sorry to my kids. I expect them to apologize for poor behavior, and I should model that same behavior myself. Currently in this stage of life, I have the greatest impact on my kids. Our household is their introduction to the world. I need to be real with them. My pride sneaks up and lies to me claiming “they won’t see me as an authority figure if I admit failure” or “my actions were justifiable in the moment.” However, I want my kids to obey me out of respect, not out of fear (although, a little fear may be helpful sometimes – smile).

Our family strives for love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. We hit the mark a good percentage of the time, but we also falter. Although, I want my children to live up to these traits, I also want them to learn how to deal with their own failures. Apologizing to others, learning to accept apologies from others and learning to forgive themselves can be just as important in this world. And while apologizing; to learn how to be loving and kind. And while accepting apologies; to respond with gentleness and self-control. And to learn to treat themselves with patience and peace as they face this world head on.

I think “sorry” plays a big role in our society, yet should have a much larger part than it currently does. Without a changed heart, an apology means nothing. Learning to truly say sorry is another topic altogether. I read a great article regarding teaching your kids to apologize (and I learned something myself!).

The older my kids get, the more I’m realizing that this thing called family is quite remarkable. Although I still believe in the authoritative role of parents, I think a lot of family life is learned from the journey together. I learn from both of my girls on a daily basis, and I want them to be able to say the same about me and my husband. I’m also hoping one day I can lose Beast Mother and claim the role of Mama Bear instead.