Toddlers. They’re adorable, they’re cranky, they’re hilarious, and living with them is unlike any other roommate you’ll ever have. One thing is for sure: there’s never a dull moment when you’re the parent of a toddler.
You’re probably the parent of a toddler if…
1. There are tiny fingerprints on the bottom two feet of every wall and door of your house.
2. You don’t remember the last time you went to the bathroom by yourself.
3. You reheat your cup of coffee about three times per morning before giving up and deciding to drink it cold.
4. You finish a road trip only to find that chicken nuggets, French fries, and gold fish now flood the floor of your car.
5. A family night out means hitting up the early bird specials with the senior citizens, so you can get everyone home in time for bed.
6. You can’t remember the last time you watched a TV show live, but thank goodness for streaming services because watching your favorite show(s) after the kids go to bed is all you have the energy for.
7. You think sit down restaurants are overrated. Take out is where it’s at!
8. You log into Netflix and based on your “recently watched,” it suggests shows for you like Curious George, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and Daniel Tiger.
9. You consider a trip to Costco or Sam’s Club without the kids, a date.
10. You are not above bribery in order to make it from one end of the grocery store to the other, without a cart full of crying.
11. Your significant other might find you hiding in a closet eating chocolate just so you don’t have to share.
12. There are few things that make you happier than when your little one pees on the potty.
13. Your coffee and wine intake is at an all time high.
14. You’ve served mac n cheese for dinner at least a couple times a week, without shame.
15. There’s a random shoe, half eaten banana, and a spatula in the corner of your living room.
16. At some point during the day, you find yourself on the ground transformed into a jungle gym just to keep the peace.
17. You pull your car over when you spot a construction site because it provides cheap entertainment.
18. You aren’t phased by someone else’s toddler throwing a tantrum at the store. You’re just thankful it isn’t yours this time.
19. You get to practice your negotiating skills every night when you have to deal with bedtime.
20. You almost lose it when you’ve had to return your child to bed for the 10th time, but when they ask for more hugs and tell you they “wuv you,” you melt into a million pieces and remember how lucky you are.
Yes, life with a toddler is unlike anything else. It’s a phase full of cheer and challenge. They make us laugh, they make us cry, and they make us go crazy. But the memories we make on a daily basis will follow us for a lifetime!
Original post published September 2014