As I write this, I’m officially 36 weeks pregnant, which is technically 9 months, so I’m all set, right? Wrong! Being pregnant for 9 months is a total lie. It’s a full TEN months, and because you’ve been lied to, you get to 9 and you feel like you should be at the finish line, but instead, you find yourself in ridiculous situations, unable to tie your own shoes as you should be able to and just waiting for the end. I’ve noticed myself in a few predicaments lately – maybe you can relate:
15 Sure Signs You’re 9 Months Pregnant
1. Your shoes don’t really go with your outfit, but… (see Number 2).
2. You’ve been wearing the same 3 shirts in rotation for weeks… because everything else is suddenly too short and you’re SO not going to buy anything else labeled “maternity.”
3. You’re wearing jeans to work again because you’ve been down to two pairs of pants for a month and the band on the other pair are just.too.tight today. Thank goodness for understanding bosses who giggle at you when you explain, rather than care if you’re looking as professional as you’d both prefer.
4. Things fall on the floor and you leave them there for days because bending over is just too much work.
5. Picking things up off the floor is far too much work, but spending an entire morning organizing one closet in the name of nesting is perfectly logical.
6. You resign yourself to spending as much time as possible in your leggings and old and shoddy Uggs because comfort is more important than anything.
7. Regular household tasks drain you in a way that would have your non-preggo self laughing. You made dinner and did two loads of laundry and your back and hips feel as if you’ve run a marathon.
8. You grab a donut from that cute skyway bakery before work (maybe daily?), because darn-it!, you deserve it!
9. It’s not uncommon to find you asleep on the couch at 8:00pm. And you just might consider that a late night.
10. You find yourself running to the bathroom at least every 20-30 minutes, often for what feels like absolutely no reason at all.
11. Your belly is running out of room to hold your growing tenant – it wouldn’t be odd for you to jump or call out at a sharp foot or hand poking out suddenly. This is especially fun when it happens in public and strangers look at you like, “Wah?!”
12. The process of rolling over in bed is only made less ridiculous because it’s almost always un-witnessed. Absolutely absurd.
13. You get up to walk down the hall and you might as well just keep on walking towards the bathroom – that baby’s head is LOW – pressure is the understatement of the century.
14. Second breakfast is pretty much a given most days, and usually by 9:30am. Hey – growing a baby takes a LOT of energy – eat up!
15. You pretty much don’t care about any of the above and are feeling happy just to spoil yourself rotten until you finally make it to the end.
The list could go on and on. Pack your hospital bag, put your feet up and don’t feel badly about asking your hubby to run out for ice cream. Pregnancy is a beautiful miracle, but doesn’t always feel that way, and if you’ve made it to the end of this marathon, you deserve some treats and a bit of spoiling – lady, you earned it!